


Paradise/Mayday

by tuanpark



Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Angst, Bottom!Mark, Childhood, Childhood Friends, Christmas, Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Holidays, M/M, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Smut, Time Skips, Top!Jinyoung, Top!Mark, bottom!Jinyoung, hONESTLY this fic is more about their relationship, smut doesn't happen til last chapter and it's really short, that's very very minimal lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-09-28 00:56:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17172794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuanpark/pseuds/tuanpark
Summary: Mark returns to his hometown for the holidays after eight long years. Jinyoung is his estranged childhood best friend, and the most important person he left behind. Upon meeting each other again, unresolved feelings they thought they had buried deep down have resurfaced once more. For Mark, maybe those feelings were never buried to begin with.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Lol. I can't believe myself. This was supposed to be a short, one shot for the holidays. Just a cute couple doing cute things for Christmas. But after I wrote some scenes, a whole plot came about, and now I'm stuck writing a chaptered fic. I hope you all like this so far! I was supposed to finish this before December ended, but I don't think I'll be able to do that ;___; Anyhow, it'll go back and forth between the past and the present.
> 
> Not proofread, so I apologize in advance for all the mistakes! Kudos and comments are very much appreciated. uwu Also, follow me at [@m0rkjin](https://twitter.com/m0rkjin) on twitter! I want someone to scream about GOT7 (and Stray Kids) with!!!!
> 
>  **Disclaimer** : I don't own any of the characters, and all the scenes written are purely fiction.

Mark absolutely hates flying.

He despises it with a passion. The little things annoy him like opening the overhead bin only to find out that someone else had wrongfully placed their stuff in his spot. Opening the magazine provided by the airline only to find out that someone else had already done the crossword puzzle. Worst yet, accidentally engaging with the person next to him only for that person to spill his entire life story.

It’s the big things too. There’s something about being 25,000 feet up in the air that scares the hell out of Mark. He gets really antsy and restless during take off, and no movie or music is able to keep him occupied long enough to distract him from it all. But he thinks his hatred of it goes deeper than that.

The first time he’s ever flown, he was running away from a life that, looking back now, he no longer recognizes. He supposes this immense fear comes not only from the height and fear of falling but also from the thoughts he was left with to his own during that first flight. Fourteen hours of worrying and wondering if he’d done the right thing had him mostly insane by the time the plane had landed.

So yes, suffice it to say that Mark is not a fan of flying. Which is why he takes a big sigh of relief when the aircraft finally reaches its designated destination.

It takes a long time for Mark to get his luggage, but things go by quickly after that. As he goes down the escalator, he sees his parents waiting on the bottom floor with a big sign and big smiles. The sign reads MARK TUAN, and Mark feels giddy from finally visiting his parents after all these years.

They’re not close, per se, but they’re not not close. They do talk on the phone at least once every month, sometimes more. So it’s not like they haven’t kept contact, but he supposes it would have been nice had he visited once in a while. It’s not that he doesn't want to see his parents, is the thing. It’s this whole town and its people and these foggy memories. He’d rather forget about most of it and move on.

But fate is not in Mark’s hands as his situation has forced him to go back this holiday break. He’ll get to the reason later on, but for now, he has to focus on his parents.

“Mark,” his mom calls to him with open arms. Mark takes it immediately, missing his mom more than he thought he did. There’s nothing quite like the love given by a mother, so pure and so warm. They stay in the embrace for almost a minute, his mom surely reclaiming all the lost time they spent away from each other. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Mom.” Mark says honestly.

And as soon as she releases him, his dad immediately pulls him into a bone-crushing hug. What this hug lacks in length, it makes up for in strength. Mark thinks he broke a rib or two from it, but he appreciates it nonetheless.

“Hey, Dad.”

His parents then ask him a barrage of questions, Mark answering them quickly one by one. Simple questions like how the flight was. _It sucked; fourteen hours of doing nothing, I do not recommend._ And if he had eaten. _Yes, Mom, they provided in-flight food during the travel._ And if he was doing alright at home. _Not really, that’s why I’m here, Dad. Remember?_

The talk continues to the car, the conversation jumping from topic to topic like how the weather was back at his place, and if he had any plans of moving back here soon, and that they really want some grandbabies, Mark, they’re getting old.

“Please, no, Mom. I don’t think I’m ready for children.”

“That’s okay, dear. I’m just putting the idea out there.”

Mark’s parents continue to ramble on, and he answers them absentmindedly. His thoughts are occupied by the town he’ll be seeing in less than five minutes now.

And sure enough, after blurs of speeding cars and wintry greenery, up ahead of them is the sign that he so precisely remembers. There’s a bittersweet taste in his mouth when he finally sees the tailends of his hometown. It instantly brings back memories, some he’d rather forget and some he will treasure forever. Likewise, it reminds him of people he’d rather not see again and others he can’t wait to meet once more.

He’s back in town for the holidays. There’s a reason why he’s here for the next month, but there’s an even bigger reason why he hasn’t been back here in almost a decade, neither of which he’d like to think about at the moment.

Mark left this place very quickly after he graduated, just a little over eight years ago now. Until now, Mark thinks himself weak for leaving like a spineless bastard, saying goodbye only to his family. He supposes this is his chance to set things straight and make things right, at least with the one person he made the gravest mistake with.

When they finally arrive at his parents’ house, Mark feels his throat constrict from all the images that are suddenly popping up in his mind. Spending snowy Christmases here in this old town, running around in the sweltering heat of the summer during his early years here, and even the traditional family dinners every Sunday night.

His parents help him out bringing his baggage inside. As soon as they do so, his mom is already on him, asking him if he wants to eat or rest or do this and that.

“I’ll just get settled in first, and then maybe I’ll think about eating.”

His mom pats his cheeks. “You better. You’re looking even skinnier than I remember.”

Mark huffs but says nothing. And then his dad is carrying the lighter suitcase up the stairs while Mark struggles with the heavier one. They stop in front closed room, panting from the unexpected workout.

“Good to have you back, son.” His dad pets his shoulder.

“Good to be back.” Mark replies, and then his dad is leaving. That’s what Mark likes about him. He’s not a helicopter parent like his mom.

When Mark lugs his suitcase inside his old room, nostalgia hits him hard like a truck. Everything is exactly the same as he had left it eight years ago. The NBA poster is still on the main wall, the white edges looking yellowish from age. His Pikachu collection still sits nicely in the corner of the room, and from the looks of it has been dusted recently.

The main difference is the bed sheet and comforter. He had always used a blue one, if he recalled correctly. The white bed sheet and comforter set looks unfamiliar to Mark. The air in the room isn’t stale, and Mark figures that his mom had probably aired it out as well as changed the sheets to rid the place of that dry odor.

It feels weird to be back. It neither feels good nor bad. Mark just wishes it didn’t feel so strange and bizarre. He supposes it would’ve felt normal had he gone back home every now and then, but not coming for almost a decade makes everything feel foreign to him.

He lies down on his bed, the soft blanket feeling nice on his tired body. Eyes closing on their own, Mark lets himself rest for a bit. He wonders if everyone is still in this small town. Is Yugyeom still taller than all of this town’s population? Is Bambam still a foot shorter than the rest of them? And most importantly, how is Jinyoung?

Just saying Jinyoung’s name in his mind makes him nauseous. If there was one thing Mark regrets the most, it’s the way in which he left Park Jinyoung. If leaving this town was a bad decision, then leaving Jinyoung would be the worst part of it all.

Park Jinyoung is the loose thread of an old shirt. The knot that Mark didn’t tie. He’s the physical embodiment of actions left undone and words left unsaid, and Mark considers him his biggest mistake.

How to even begin Mark and Jinyoung’s story? If anyone asked Mark, he would say without a single shred of doubt that their story was epic, one of love found and love lost.

It’s a story of paradise and mayday.

Mark opens his eyes and sighs. He makes his way towards the closet, finding clothes he hadn’t seen, much less worn, in the last several years. But what he’s looking for is the box sitting right at the top of the high shelf inside his closet, a raggedy looking thing full of memorabilia and fond memories.

He takes it with a shaky hand, dust coming out in a cloud as soon as he moves it. Mark sits down on the floor, the box feeling weightier than he remembers. He fans his hand to get rid of the floating tiny particles in the air, mentally and emotionally preparing himself before he dives back into his childhood.

He makes a face at his sorry excuse of a handwriting, the words DO NOT OPEN in big, black letters on the box. When Mark finally deems himself ready to do so, he opens his package of memories. There is a variety of items hidden in here, ranging from folded notes to movie ticket stubs. There are pictures and pins, an obsolete receipt, a forgotten scarf, an old hat, popsicle sticks, and even a Pikachu wristwatch. And buried underneath all of it, a pair of matching necklaces. Each item has a story behind it, all giving Mark’s chest a sharp ache that should have been dulled after all these years yet still feels weirdly fresh and irritatingly raw.

He picks up the popsicle sticks and lets himself reminisce about the heat of summer, the sticky sensation of dried ice cream, and a warm smile.

***

_Mark and Jinyoung’s friendship began during the early years of their childhood, when Mark who had just recently moved to town, was crying in the playground at school because nobody wanted to talk to the new kid. Nobody except a bright child with a bright smile. That was Jinyoung._

_Even back then, Mark knew that this boy was special. There was something about his character that Mark found enticing. Maybe it was the genuine smiles he gave Mark. Maybe it was the unending kindness that he showed towards the older. Whatever it was, Mark appreciated him all the same._

_Oftentimes, they would play outside in the streets starting from the time school ended to the hour of sunset. These were the hours Mark looked forward to most during the weekdays, the ones when he got to spend time with his favorite friend Jinyoung. They generally spent their time wandering the small street that stretched from Jinyoung’s house to Mark’s._

_The road that connected them looked so long and so wide in their young eyes. There was nothing to worry about during these years other than school time, nap time, dinner time, and best friend time._

_They became instant best buddies, never going to places without the other. They spent so much time together that their parents had no choice but to become friends as well. It was during the start of their fourth grade when Mark noticed that Jinyoung wasn’t eating a lot for recess. Mark knew that Jinyoung received money to buy food for recess as they had always done the year before. Except these past couple of weeks, it seemed as if it was only Mark who ever bought stuff from the cafeteria._

_“Jinyoungie, why aren’t you eating?” Mark had asked one day. The younger boy simply shrugged._

_“I’m not really that hungry,” he had explained. Which didn’t make sense to Mark. Mark was forced to eat even when he was not hungry. It was simply ‘the rule’ in their household._

_The next day, Mark shared his food with Jinyoung and invited him to his tenth birthday party._

_“It’ll be loads of fun!” He said excitedly. “You’re coming, right?”_

_“Of course, I am!” Jinyoung answered._

_And that was how they found themselves during that weekend, Jinyoung showing up to the party, parents in tow and present in hand._

_It was poorly wrapped, but it was Mark’s favorite gift all the same. When Mark blew the candles after everyone sang happy birthday, his wish was to be best friends with Jinyoung until they were old and senile._

_And when it was time to open the presents, Mark saved the best for last. He knew exactly which one was Jinyoung’s and chose to open it after unboxing everything else. He told Jinyoung just as much._

_And when he finally unwrapped the present, Mark immediately fell in love with it. It was a yellow wristwatch, a mouse with red dots for cheeks acting as its main design. Mark knew of it since other kids had wanted it as well, certain that it must have cost two to three weeks worth of lunch money. His young mind didn’t connect the fact that the reason Jinyoung didn’t buy a lot of lunch food the last couple of weeks was so he could use that same money to buy Mark this gift._

_Mark gave Jinyoung a tight, friendly hug, thanking him for such a wonderful present._

_“You’re welcome,” Jinyoung said, smiling widely. “According to Hyunseok, the cute little mouse is named Pikachu.”_

_And that was how Mark’s Pikachu collection started._

_Several months after that was when they first went to a cart that sold ice cream and popsicles. It was during the summer before their fifth grade, and the sun was unbelievably hot. Mark had leftover allowance from this month, and it was enough to pay for two whole popsicles and two ice cream bars._

_Mark and Jinyoung knew the concept of money, understood price and payment, but they were not familiar with the inequality that it brought between families._

_Which was why Jinyoung was so shocked when Mark had bought not two but four pieces of ice cream._

_“Why are you buying so many?” Jinyoung asked curiously. “There are only two of us.”_

_Mark’s brows shot up. “You think this is many?”_

_Jinyoung nodded. Mark was confused. He always bought two of things when he wanted to._

_“Well, more to eat, I guess.”_

_And that was how their trips to get ice cream became a tradition, one that they continued all throughout their friendship. It became their thing, after getting sad, after feeling lonely, after failing a quiz or getting scolded at. It never failed to make them feel better._

_They would laugh at all the jokes written on the popsicle sticks. There were ones that made Jinyoung and Mark laugh so hard that their stomach hurt for the next hour. Those ones, Mark physically kept along with the precious images of Jinyoung laughing burnt brightly in his memory._

***

When Mark wakes and walks down to the kitchen, he’s not surprised to see that his mom is already out and about. There’s a steaming cup of tea and a plate of rice, eggs, and hotdogs ready for him to eat. His favorite food for breakfast back during his high school years.

“Eat up, honey,” his mom demands. “I have an errand for you to do today.”

Mark sits down gingerly to eat his morning meal.

“An errand?” He asks with a mouthful of eggs and rice.

“Yes, an errand.” She says as she sips on her coffee. Mark eats with spoonfuls, unsure why he’s so hungry.

“What kind of errand?”

“I need you to deliver something for me,” his mom clarifies. Mark’s brows shoot up. A delivery? He eats another bite of rice and hotdog before replying.

“What kind of delivery?”

“Just a fruit cake to one of our neighbors down the street.”

Mark glances at his mom, munching on his breakfast with an eerie feeling creeping up his body.

“To whom?”

“To Park Jinyoung,” his mom says with certainty, and Mark basically chokes on the hotdog he just bit. He tries to cough it out, but when that proves useless, he takes a swig of the closest liquid in his proximity. The hot tea is boiling, and it burns his whole mouth and throat, but at least he’s not choking anymore. “You know him, right, dear? Weren’t you two close?”

Close doesn’t even cut it. They were the best of friends. They were practically soulmates to anyone who had asked.

“Why do I have to deliver a fruit cake to Jinyoung?” Mark questions, suddenly out of breath.

“It’s my Christmas gift, of course.” His mom answers. “And hurry back since we still need help decorating the Christmas tree.”

His mom’s tone is that of firmness, and Mark knows that no matter what he reasons with, he won’t be able to get out of this one.

He doesn’t feel so hungry now, and quickly finishes the food so that he has time to get ready. It’s his first time seeing Park Jinyoung in eight years. Does he even have anything nice to wear?

Mark brushes his teeth after eating and washing his dishes. His mind wanders as he gets ready for it. Will Jinyoung even talk to him? He wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to. Will Jinyoung even recognize him? Mark doesn’t think he’s changed that much since high school. He still has the same thin figure, the same sharp cheekbones and delicate wrists. The only thing that changed is his hair color. What used to be various shades of red during his teenage years is now a mellow sort of brown.

He picks a neat looking sweater that doesn’t look too flashy that shows he put thought into getting ready, but not so plain that it looks like it’s used for sleepwear. He doesn’t even know why he’s bothering to be so picky. Will Jinyoung even bat an eye at his fashion choice? Surely not, but Mark would rather look pretty after leaving Jinyoung without saying goodbye.

After finishing, Mark grabs the fruit cake and starts on the excruciatingly familiar path. It takes less than two minutes to get there, but he’s already shivering from the cold weather.

Snow fills up the sidewalks, Christmas lights lit on almost every house despite that fact that it’s still morning time and nobody would see the lights in broad daylight.

When he sees the Park residence, Mark begins to get antsy. Will he be alright facing Jinyoung after the last several years? He doesn’t know, but what he is sure of is that his mom will be furious with him if he doesn’t pass her baked cake to his childhood best friend. With an imaginary slap to the face, Mark begins to walk towards the front door.

When he gets to the welcome mat, Mark takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t have to wait long as he already hears the footsteps coming from inside. Each thud brings Mark closer to running away again, but he doesn’t.

It’s been eight years.

The lock of the door clicks, and Mark readies himself.

“Mrs. Tuan, you sure are early this y-”

The door is opened by Jinyoung, hair impossibly perfect during this time of day. He’s wearing a sweater well-suited for the holidays, cheeks pink from the wintry morning and holding a steaming mug of what looks to be coffee.

Jinyoung lets out a gasp and quickly shuts the door on his face. Mark waits on the front steps, ears freezing and hands still full with baked goods.

The door opens once more, revealing a more neutral faced Jinyoung. He clears his throat.

“M-Mark?” Jinyoung asks tentatively. “Is that really you?”

Mark can only look down in shame. Jinyoung still looks beautiful. Other than the stronger jawline and a thicker frame, Jinyoung doesn’t look like he’s changed one bit. He looks just as gorgeous as Mark left him, all big ears and dark hair and bright eyes. His eyebrows look even fuller if that’s possible, lips redder than Mark remembers. Jinyoung’s fingers are restless, as if itching to touch Mark. Or maybe itching to grab the fruit cake so Mark can leave. Mark doesn’t know which he prefers.

“Hey,” Mark answers with a strained smile. “It’s been a while.”

“Eight years but who’s counting,” Jinyoung laughs nervously. He then gestures towards the fruit cake. “I’m guessing that’s from your mom?”

Mark looks down at his mom’s baking and then up again at Jinyoung.

“Yeah,” Mark chuckles, breath caught in his throat. “How’d you know?”

“She usually visits me around this time of the year with a cake of some sort,” Jinyoung shrugs. “Last year it was carrot cake.”

“Oh. Cool.”

Mark doesn’t know what to say, if he should even say anything.

“I didn’t know you were going to be home for the holidays,” Jinyoung comments. “Your mom didn’t mention it.”

And then Jinyoung’s eyes go a little wider for some reason as he backtracks. “Not that she’s supposed to mention it. What you do with your life has nothing to do with me, obviously.”

Jinyoung then shakes his head. “Not that I don’t care about what you do... I do! Just not that much, or like, just however much a long friend would care about it. Gosh. I’ll just shut up now.”

Mark giggles. He’s still too fucking cute, even if he does look manlier now. “Okay.”

“You still giggle.” Jinyoung says, almost surprised. And there’s a fond look there that makes Mark’s mouth dry.

“Habit, I suppose.”

And then they’re staring at each other, breaths coming out slowly. Mark wants to drink him all in.

No car passes by, and the winter air chooses that moment to be still and frozen. If Mark couldn’t hear the distant sounds of children playing from the other end of the street, he could’ve sworn time stopped right then and there.

Jinyoung looks at the icy ground and then at Mark’s reddening ears. Mark’s heart can’t help but beat faster from it.

“Do you want to come in?” He asks delicately. “You must be cold.”

“I’m fine, honestly. I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

Jinyoung’s eyebrow shoots up. He’s still scarily good at that, it seems. He then places his mug onto a side table before returning back to Mark with his arms splayed out in front of him.

Mark simply eyes it, unsure what he’s supposed to do. A beat or two passes before Jinyoung speaks up.

“Are you not going to give me the fruit cake, Mark?”

Right! The fruit cake. That Mark has. In his hands. Yes.

Mark obediently gives the food to Jinyoung, who takes it graciously.

“Wow, this sure is heavier than last years,” he says to himself as he disappears into the house. “Hopefully it tastes just as good!”

Mark snickers from the doorstep.

“But knowing your mom,” Jinyoung says as he appears once more, smiling widely and dusting his hands on his waist. “I’m sure it tastes great!”

“When did you get so close to my mom,” Mark asks warily. Jinyoung’s smile falters for a quick second.

“About a year or two after we graduated,” Jinyoung’s eyes don’t quite seem as happy as it did earlier. “Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to come inside?”

Mark inspects the house, sees that basically everything is black and white or a shade of gray. He then turns to Jinyoung’s hopeful expression, lips forming his signature camera smile, all close-lipped and dimples in full display.

“I’ll pass for now,” Mark says with a heavy heart. He doesn’t know why he says it when all he wants to do right now is to talk to Jinyoung on the couch all day. Or beg for forgiveness. Maybe play Mario Kart, or beg, or play Mario Kart while begging. “Maybe next time.”

Jinyoung keeps smiling.

“Alright. But we should catch up soon, or something.”

“Of course.”

Mark nods goodbye as Jinyoung does the same. He turns on his heels and begins to walk out the driveway. His feet don’t seem to want to leave, but he struggles through anyway. When he looks back, the door is closed and nobody is waiting by the porch.

Mark’s mood goes down weirdly after that and stays down the whole walk to his parents’ house.

When he gets back he asks his mom when she became so close to Jinyoung.

“A long time ago, honey.” She says as she types on her laptop, glasses on her small face glinting. Working from home must be great. “Why the sudden interest?”

“No reason,” Mark lies. “He just mentioned you two being close, and from the looks of it, contact each other regularly.”

His mom adjusts her glasses and looks away from her laptop. She fixes him a smile. “That sweet boy has experienced so much from this lifetime, too much for someone so young.”

Mark’s brows furrows.

“What happened?” Mark questions, curiosity getting ahead of him. His mom gives him an apologetic look.

“I think it’s best if he tells you about it, honey.” His mom says wistfully. “Ask him to go holiday shopping with you or something. God knows that boy needs to get out of that house, especially during this time of the year.”

She starts to type again on her laptop, and Mark thinks that that’s the end of the conversation.

Mark spends the whole day lounging about, cleaning the already clean house. What exactly happened to his childhood friend? And why exactly are Jinyoung and his mom so close? All of these questions gnaw at Mark for the rest of the morning. Mark tries his hardest to distract himself, but it’s fruitless.

Jinyoung occupies his mind the whole day, and Mark knows there’s no other way to satisfy his curiosity other than going to the source of it. Which is why, after hours of doing absolutely nothing at home, he promises himself that he’ll go over to Jinyoung’s house tomorrow and ask him to do exactly what his mom suggested.

Later that day, when Mark eats his dad’s cooking for dinner, Mark almost cries. This tastes so much better than the junk he eats back abroad. McDonalds and Chinese takeout has nothing on his dad’s cooking. It’s a perfect way to energize him for the grand day tomorrow.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jinyoung go holiday shopping.

The mornings are freezing.

There’s a sharp chill in the air that’s felt in this town more so than where Mark lives now. He’s so unaccustomed to it that the icy temperature during the sunrise acts as his alarm clock. Mark wakes shivering even under his thick, white blanket. He tries to return to sleep, but the uncomfortable frost enveloping his face and naked feet is keeping him awake. Assuming he probably won’t be sleeping again anytime soon, Mark decides to get up with a sigh.

Unlike yesterday, his mom isn’t in the kitchen when he makes himself a cup of coffee. There is, however, still a plate of breakfast waiting for him and a note that says his mom and dad went to the store to do some grocery shopping.

Mark eats his meal joyfully, thankful for having such loving parents. He nearly forgot how nice it was to have a meal waiting for him. When he finishes eating, he goes to the bathroom to shower.

The hot water feels rejuvenating on his freezing body, and he takes extra care to clean himself as much as possible. He shaves what little hair has grown on his face, making sure his chin looks nice and smooth. He doubles his layers, knows he won’t be able to talk without his teeth chattering if he didn’t. He also spends extra time on making his hair swooped carefully exactly just the way he likes it.

When he finishes, the clock reads a quarter past nine. He’s never been a morning person, generally preferred to sleeping in than waking up early to do little errands here and there. Which is why he’s quite surprised by how much he has finished and how productive he has been even though it’s still so early.

Despite the wintry atmosphere, the sun is still high and bright outside. The light filters in from the outside and through the open blinds, slivers of sunlight glinting on the open box Mark took out the day before yesterday. When he approaches it, he allows himself to wallow in the profound emotion he tasted from every item.

He’s looking forward to today, if he’s being honest with himself. He certainly lost recollection of how absolutely enjoyable it was to hang out with Jinyoung. Excitement is building up inside him, making his head swim in exhilarating waters. Mark lets his hand travel into the box and along the sentimental items resting in there. He stops on the movie ticket stub and the old receipt, and caresses them three times, as if doing so will grant him a magic wish from its magical memories.

***

_Mark and Jinyoung were thirteen when they first went to the movies together, alone._

_They were supposed to go with friends, but every one of them ended up bailing on Mark and Jinyoung. That was totally fine though, because if there was anyone he’d choose to get stuck in a movie theater with for the next two hours, it would be his favorite person Jinyoung._

_They were being dropped off to the cinema by Mark’s mom. Mark had reached around Jinyoung to grab the seat belt and buckle him in with the premise of ‘safety first.’_

_On the way there, his mom had been nagging them about what to do and what not to do. She had demanded them not to talk to strangers or any funny looking people. Mark and Jinyoung didn’t even know what funny looking people meant, but they both nodded nonetheless. She had reminded them that even though they were thirteen and were given permission to watch the movie by themselves, that did not mean that they were adults now or that they could stay out past 7:00 pm._

_It was only 3:00 pm, so Mark and Jinyoung had plenty of time to watch a movie and do a little extra adventuring. Mark’s mom had told him that he should call when they wanted to get picked up and that if there was any sort of emergency, they should call her right away. Mark and Jinyoung had nodded once more. Looking slightly worried yet satisfied, Mark’s mom left them alone with hugs full of emotion._

_They ended up getting tickets for a comedy, one that was light and comfortable and easy to follow. Mark pocketed the ticket stubs, including Jinyoung’s. When Jinyoung had asked why, he simply answered for safekeeping. Of course, they took advantage of the arcade games that were available in the theater. It was a must while they wait for the movie to start._

_Before it did, Mark bought the biggest bucket of popcorn, tons of candies for dessert, and an extra large drink to share. Jinyoung had smiled shyly and awkwardly at how much Mark was spending, but the older consoled him saying he saved his allowance for it and had enough money for this as well as a meal after._

_Jinyoung pointed to the back row when they got into the theater room. The lights were still on, and commercials and trailers still flashed from the big screen._

_The movie was terribly funny, so much so that Mark felt his stomach aching from how much he reacted to the movie. They had laughed and giggled and snickered their buttocks off like any teenager would during a comedy, and if every once in a while their hands casually touched each other’s when reaching for some buttery popcorn goodness, they didn’t mention it._

_And if Mark found himself drinking soda thirty seconds after every time Jinyoung drank from it, he blamed it all on how his throat felt too dry because of all the laughter. The candy tasted sweet too, but sweeter was the look of genuine joy on Jinyoung’s face each time he took a bite of the sugar belts and whenever he popped a skittle into his mouth._

_When they finished the movie, Jinyoung asked if Mark wanted to go to the nearby diner famous for their milkshakes, baby taters, and all-you-can-eat pancakes. Mark was more than happy to oblige._

_The Kim’s Diner at the corner of 4th and McKinley was family-owned and named the Best Diner in Town. However, it carried no actual significance because it was the_ only _diner in town. The outside walls of Kim’s Diner were painted a pleasantly bland shade of blue-green, with wide windows lined in a vivid reddish pink._

_The sign was huge and read Kim’s Diner in strawberry pink neon lights. The staff were friendly and hospitable, and Mark and Jinyoung ordered a boat of fries and a milkshake each. They didn’t finish quickly, were content in stretching their time together talking about useless topics while eating perfectly salted fries._

_Mark and Jinyoung occasionally traded beverages and drank off each other’s milkshakes with the excuse of wanting the best of both worlds, since Mark ordered the rich chocolate while Jinyoung got the classic vanilla._

_And if somewhere in the middle of the night they linked pinkies, voices hushed, hearts in their hands, promising to be best friends forever, nobody needed to know._

_Their time together came to a stop when Mark’s mom called him and asked when they wanted to get picked up, and from the tone of her voice, he knew the correct answer would be ‘now.’_

_And so Mark and Jinyoung finished the night by paying for the meal. Since they ordered basically the same thing and were going to pay in cash, they ended up combining the order onto one tab and splitting the cost. Mark kept the receipt._

_Mark’s mom came shortly after and asked how it was. It was fantastic, obviously. They dropped off Jinyoung, Mark giving him a tight hug when they said goodbye._

_And as Mark was about to go to sleep, he received a text from his friend saying he had the most fun today. Mark replied saying he did too, and that Jinyoung should go to sleep so they have energy to hang out again tomorrow._

***

Mark shakes his head and snaps out of his reverie.

Revisiting the past has always been a whirlwind of emotions. Mark gathers himself and rushes out the door. The walk to Jinyoung’s house seems longer than usual. This is also the first time Mark truly looked at each house on their street, and with mild surprise noticed that the Park residence was one of the only three homes that did not have Christmas lights up.

Putting on his best smile, Mark walks up to the front door ready for some bonding time. Like the last time he was here, Mark takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell as soon as he gets to the welcome mat.

“Mark!” Jinyoung exclaims, surely surprised to see him for the second day in a row. After all, he had not seen him for basically three thousand days before all of this. He gathers himself quickly though. “Here to drop off another one of your mom’s gifts?”

“No,” Mark chuckles lightly. “I was actually taking you up on your offer to… uhh, how did you say it? ‘Catch up soon, or something?’”

Jinyoung stares at him, bewildered. Mark assumes Jinyoung probably didn’t count on Mark actually following through with hanging out with him again. But then Jinyoung is giving him a soft smile.

“Or something,” Jinyoung says wistfully. “Though I wish you had contacted me before this so that I had time to get myself ready.”

Mark finally checks out Jinyoung’s clothing, and sure enough, he’s in his sleepwear. Even though he’s only wearing pajama bottoms and a simple white t-shirt, Mark finds him absolutely breathtaking.

“Well, you can get ready now,” Mark comments and gives himself a reminder to retrieve Jinyoung’s number later so he can contact him the next time.

“Alright,” Jinyoung agrees as he steps farther into his home. But before he gets more than a few feet, he turns back right around to face Mark, a smirk playing on his lips. “Are you just going to stand outside while I get ready? Or?”

Mark looks around, unsure what to do with himself. “Well, would that be okay?”

Jinyoung gives him a confused look.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

Mark’s not sure. He just always assumed that Jinyoung would be furious with him for leaving so suddenly, always thought that his estranged childhood best friend would not welcome him after the situation he forced them through. Once again, Mark feels strongly that he doesn’t deserve Jinyoung’s never-ending kindness.

“This was basically your second home back then,” Jinyoung says sadly, eyes unfocused. “But I would understand if you felt more comfortable waiting at your parents’, though I can assure you that I won’t be taking that long to get ready. So it’s really your choice.”

Like yesterday, Jinyoung’s face is carefully neutral. He figures he should give Jinyoung some space, but he can’t help being greedy with Jinyoung’s presence.

“I can stay here and lounge around,” Mark answers after some thinking. “As long as you’re sure.”

Jinyoung then walks towards him and pulls him inside before closing the door.

“Positive.”

Too quickly, Jinyoung disappears into the hallway leading to his room, and Mark finds himself unable to keep still. Just like he always did back when he visited Jinyoung’s place, Mark takes his shoes off.

Weirdly, the first thing he thinks of is the absence of Jinyoung’s parents. Back then, they would always be present and treating him as if they were his own son, not unlike the way his mom hovers around him. He figures they’re either asleep or on vacation.

He wanders around the place, the surroundings feeling unfamiliar to him. Like what he caught a glimpse of yesterday, the only colors he can see here are monochromatic: some black, some white and the grays in between. There are no signs of Christmas decorations, not even a tiny, plastic pine tree. The whole place reminds him eerily of Jinyoung, meticulously organized, modestly minimalistic, and preferring muted colors over vibrant ones.

An open book is faced down on the black coffee table in the middle of the living room. The brown couches have now been replaced with an onyx gray one, simple and rectangular. Square tables are placed on both sides of the sofa, each having a small centerpiece of some sort. The tv they have now is bigger than before, and the homely clutter that used to plague the furnitures are now gone. A patterned black and gray carpet rests on the center of the floor, making the whole place look impossibly symmetrical.

There are photos lined up on the shelf above the fireplace, three of which are of Jinyoung. Mark surveys them one by one. The first is of Jinyoung as a child. Mark can recognize those eye whiskers anywhere. Photo Jinyoung is smiling at the camera, eyes disappearing into crinkles and ears protruding like wings on the side of his head. He’s eating a cup of ice cream, and the poor boy doesn’t even know that some of it was smeared all over his chin. It makes Mark’s heart warm with emotion.

The second is of the Jinyoung he’s most familiar with. Jinyoung is standing in his navy blue graduation gown, with the snowy background in the back. His hair covers his forehead, and Mark can’t help but reach out and pick up the frame. The boy’s genuine silliness is apparent by the way photo Jinyoung has both his hands up, fingers making peace signs as his mouth forms the signature duck lips. He remembers this Jinyoung most of all because it’s the last memory of Jinyoung he has since he left just the day after graduation. Mark’s heart feels heavy with regret, so he puts down the frame.

The third is of this new Jinyoung. He’s not smiling, but he’s not quite frowning either. He’s crossing his arms and is looking directly at the camera, and Mark can feel the sharp gaze from the photo. His hair is parted slightly to the right of center. Photo Jinyoung is wearing a black turtleneck under a pale blue sweater. Topped with a black coat in contrast with the white sky in the background, Jinyoung looks unfairly gorgeous. It makes Mark feel hot.

The other two are of Mr. and Mrs. Park, one of just them two and the other with Jinyoung in between them, arms around the shoulders of his parents.

He explores the kitchen this time, takes note of the minimal number of magnets on the refrigerator. There’s no dirty dish in sight, the stove clean and the counter by the sink sparkling. Mark doesn’t remember the place being so scrutinizingly tidy. He’s looking at the different types of mugs when Jinyoung comes back out, looking freshly showered and mouth watery.

Jinyoung is wearing an intricately designed white turtleneck sweater under a cream-colored coat that stretches down to his lower thigh. Mark throat is dry from such a powerful display of mature fashion and Jinyoung’s classic handsomeness. Good thing Mark left his baggy clothes back in college. He doesn’t think he’d deserve to be standing next to Jinyoung if he hadn’t tossed his abysmally fitted clothing years ago.

“Ready to go?” Mark asks, so as not to make the silence awkward.

“Yeah,” Jinyoung answers, though there’s a puzzled look in his face. “But first, where are we even going?”

Mark slaps his forehead. “Right, yes. I was wondering if you wanted to go holiday shopping? I wanted to buy my parents something for this Christmas.”

Jinyoung looks almost like he’s about to say no, and then Jinyoung is giving him a forlorn smile and replies in the softest voice. “Sounds great. Shall we?”

Mark nods.

It’s not snowing when they get outside, which is always a plus whenever one needs to travel.

Mark turns to Jinyoung.

“Do you want to drive to the mall or shall I?”

Jinyoung turns to him with a solemn expression, big eyes and slightly downturned lips.

“Actually, I was thinking we should take public transportation,” Jinyoung answers. “That’s how I’ve been getting around during snowy days. And it’ll be just like old times.”

Mark gives him a soft smile. Old times. Mark doesn’t know why that just made him feel incredibly warm, despite the weather being almost below water’s freezing point.

The bus stop looks the same, if a little worn out. The bench has sure seen some hard times, with graffiti and other marks staining it sporadically. But the comfort it brings while they wait is still there.

Jinyoung sits closely, their bodies touching from shoulder to their knees.

“So, how have you been, Jinyoung?” Mark asks, breath a puff of smoke. Small talk has never been his forte. Mark and Jinyoung had never needed it, had always been fine either sitting in comfortable silence or diving straight into the topic they wish to approach.

“Could be better,” the younger replies. “The holidays are always an awkward time for me. The cooler air has never been my friend, giving me dry eyes and dry skin for Christmas.”

Mark giggles. “Is that all?”

“Not even close. I could probably list 21 reasons why I think winter can be the worst, but where’s the fun in that?” Jinyoung answers, smirking. The smirk looks so unlike Jinyoung. “Let’s talk about you though. There must have been a reason why you’ve come back for the season after all these years.”

Mark laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“My roommate has been actively trying to make my life a living hell,” Mark scoffs. “I needed to stay away for awhile to calm myself so I could think more clearly.”

“Think more clearly? About what?”

“If I’ve done the right thing,” Mark says tiredly. “My future. My life. Adult stuff.”

Jinyoung gives him a poignant look and a reassuring hand on the shoulder. “Well, I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

The touch makes Mark’s heart skip. He’s about to reply when Jinyoung beats him to it.

“Ah, bus is here.”

And sure enough, the bus leading to the mall is making its way down the damp road and towards the stop.

They take the back seats. They always do. And Mark wants to do _the thing_ . He hasn’t done _the thing_ since high school, unsure if it’s welcome after all these years. But Jinyoung is simply sitting still, chewing on his lips and doing nothing, as if telling Mark to just _go ahead and do it_.

So Mark does.

He leans closer to Jinyoung, eyes locked with the younger as he reaches for the seat belt across. The tips of Jinyoung’s ears are red, though Mark’s not quite sure if that’s from the cold or not. He hopes it’s the latter. This close, he can feel Jinyoung’s breath brushing his face. Mark buckles Jinyoung in, giving him a hesitant smile.

“Safety first,” he reasons as usual.

Jinyoung thanks him.

They reminisce about the old days. How, once they were old enough, Mark and Jinyoung always went to places using the bus. How easy childhood had been, with no worries and difficult decisions. (Mark had to disagree with this one, but refrained from saying so lest they snowball down a path Mark is not yet ready to enter)

With the conversation flowing quickly, it almost felt like no time had passed when they finally reached their destination. They thank the bus driver on the way out as they’re wont to do and hit up the stores in quick successions.

The first place they go to is a jewelry store, surely a trademark for the holidays. He’s not quite sure what his mom likes anymore. He eyes an elegant pearl necklace, but one look at the price has him labeling it as Plan C. Mark hopes he doesn’t need to go there as it will put a dent on his wallet. Another half an hour of looking around has him torn between a delicate-looking sterling silver bracelet and a pair of classic pearl earrings with a gold finish. He settles on the earrings and pays for it with a swipe of his card and a teasing look from Jinyoung.

They then visit a store that sells mostly formal attire for men. Mark doesn’t remember this being here. It looks modern and chic and stain free. Similar to his mom, Mark also doesn’t truly know what his dad fancies these days. He buys him leather shoes just to be safe, surely a common but a good gift for a father. At the same store, Jinyoung purchases a set of tie and socks combo, all patterned and slick and snazzy. For Mr. Park, Mark assumes.

Walking so much has Mark hungry and thirsty, so they stop by a café that they used to frequent back when they were teenagers. Jinyoung lets Mark order and pay, not without a tiny argument of course. Jinyoung reasons that since Mark is sort of visiting, it’s only right that Jinyoung treat him. Mark, however, feels that they shouldn’t break the tradition of Mark buying drinks for Jinyoung. They go back and forth, but Mark cracks Jinyoung in the end, and the younger boy busies himself by perusing the tiny selection of books the café sells.

Mark orders Jinyoung a Vanilla Latte and a scone while he gets an Iced Americano and a croissant for himself. Jinyoung buys a book, a sort of romance novel if the front cover of it is anything to go by.

“The Other Miss Bridgerton?” Mark asks, a flirty smile playing on his lips.

“Yeah, by one of New York Times Best Selling Author, Julia Quinn.” Jinyoung provides happily.

“I didn’t know you were into romance books,” Mark teases.

“I’m not,” Jinyoung shrugs, and Mark’s brows go up. If not for himself, then who is the book for? “Your mom is.”

“Oh. You got a Christmas present for my mom?”

“Yeah,” Jinyoung chuckles and takes a swig of his Vanilla Latte. “Your dad too, actually.”

Mark eyes the paper bag that Jinyoung has been carrying.

“You mean that socks and tie set is for my dad?”

“Mhm,” Jinyoung nods, eyes forming nice little crescents. “He has a collection of both.”

Mark didn’t know that. He slurps his drink, unsure whether to feel relieved that his parents are well looked after or attacked from the fact that Jinyoung knows Mark’s parents more than him. Count on Jinyoung to be perfect husband material, going out of his way to give meaningful gifts to someone else’s parents.

“That’s awfully nice of you to get my parents something,” Mark comments as he peels a piece off his croissant and pops it into his mouth. “Speaking of gifts to parents, what did you get for yours? And where are they? I actually haven’t seen Mr. and Mrs. Park at all.”

Mark chances a look at Jinyoung, only to find that there’s a mournful and melancholic expression on his face. Mark fucked up. He knows it. But then Jinyoung glances at him pensively, eyes half lidded. “My parents passed away actually. About a year after you... after we graduated.”

Mark finds it incredibly difficult to gulp at the moment.

“I’m so sorry,” Mark says sincerely, before taking Jinyoung’s hand into his own. “I’m an ass for bringing them up.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t think you knew,” Jinyoung sighs and gives him a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “And don’t worry about it, nothing I haven’t cried over.”

They sit in silence for a couple of minutes, Mark still holding onto Jinyoung’s hands before the younger clears his throat.

“Uhm, can you uh,” Jinyoung looks pointedly at their fingers. “I kind of need them to eat and drink.”

Mark immediately lets go. “Right, my bad. I totally forgot I was even holding on.”

“Oh, Mark,” he says charmingly. “Still as daydream-y and distracted as ever.”

They finish quickly after that, with the last stop being for Jinyoung to buy boxes and wrapping paper. Jinyoung then suggests that Mark can use them to wrap his gifts as well, seeing as the roll of wrapper and set of boxes are simply too much for Jinyoung’s _two small gifts, Mark. I insist_.

Mark agrees as it’s another excuse to visit his childhood best friend and keep him company. He surely needs it after being alone in that house for so long. Now he knows why his mom talked about Jinyoung experiencing too much for a young man and bugged him to invite Jinyoung out.

They take the bus back, topics of their current lives this time rather than their past. Mark shares the fact that he has finished his undergraduate degree in Math and has also finished Law School. Jinyoung had gasped _oh my god, you’re a lawyer now?_ To which Mark replied _not really, since nobody has hired him due to his poor interview skills._ Meanwhile, Jinyoung adds that while Mark was off practicing to be a lawyer, he too had finished college with a Literature degree and is now teaching at a grade school nearby, the same one where Mark and Jinyoung first met.

When Mark and Jinyoung get off their stop, they stand awkwardly in front of each other, waiting for the other to leave not unlike the way teenage couples would stay up on the phone repeating _no, you hang up first_ over and over and over again.

“Well, if we’re gonna wrap presents one of these days, I think it’s only fair that I get your number,” Mark smirks, his phone held out to Jinyoung.

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “Smooth.”

But then he’s grabbing Mark’s phone and typing in his number, saving it as Peach Prince Jinyoung along with the crown and peach emoji.

“Sweet,” Mark says. “Now this way, you won’t complain about me not contacting you before showing up at your door.”

Jinyoung laughs, the one that isolates each and every ‘ha’ in it. Jinyoung is covering his teeth, a habit that he still hasn’t grown out of, it seems. And a handful of joyful memories suddenly flash in front of Mark’s mind, making him emotional. Why did Mark ever think that leaving this wonderful boy with that wonderful smile was a good idea?

“Touché.”

Mark and Jinyoung bid their goodbyes, the younger walking backwards as they do so. And then Jinyoung spins around so he can see where he’s going. Even the way he spins is cute. After taking several steps, Jinyoung looks back over his shoulder, and Mark waves once more.

Someone once told Mark that if they look back, that means they like you. Mark wonders if that’s true or just superstition.

When he gets home, his mom is already back, sitting at the table and tapping away at her laptop.

“How was your day, sweetie?” She asks, eyes not leaving the screen.

“Excellent, actually.”

“Fantastic, dear,” She says with mild surprise, and then takes off her glasses and looks at Mark. “What did you do today?”

“I hung out with Jinyoung,” he shrugs. “Took your advice and took him out holiday shopping.”

His mom coos and points at the shopping bags Mark is carrying. “Any of those for me?”

“Nope!” He lies and bounds up the stairs in twos and hides the gifts in his closet.

Later that night, he texts Jinyoung.

 _To: Peach Prince Jinyoung_  
_I had a lot of fun today ahahaha_

 _To: unknown_  
_Mark?_

 _To: Peach Prince Jinyoung_  
_The one and only!!! Ahaha_

 _To: Actual Prince Mark_  
_Today was the most fun I had in a while. Thank you for taking me out of the house._  
_Anyway, you should sleep soon so you have energy to hang out tomorrow or something._

 _To: Peach Prince Jinyoung_  
_Lol, you’re right.. Ahahaha_  
_Goodnight_

 _To: Actual Prince Mark_  
_Good night :)_

Despite the chill of winter threatening to freeze Mark’s windows, Mark sleeps warmly that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, kudos and comments are most definitely appreciated. Tell me what you think of the fic so far!
> 
> Follow me on twitter, y'all! [@morkjin](https://twitter.com/m0rkjin)
> 
> For reference, the photos I described sitting on the shelf above Jinyoung's fireplace are these:  
> 1\. [kid](https://data.whicdn.com/images/213315501/large.jpg)  
> 2\. [grad](https://i.imgur.com/hlHBymR.jpg)  
> 3\. [now](https://i.imgur.com/QMvCD29.jpg)
> 
> And his outfit was actually based off of this:  
> [(+)](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/0d/b7/82/0db782a3247bcd4ceada1c4e0da92fd0.jpg)
> 
> Anyway, until next time!


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We explore more of what happened between Mark and Jinyoung in the past. Suffice it to say, surprises never really go the way you want them to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments very much appreciated! I want to know what you think! We're nearly done now! We've basically passed the halfway point of the fic. This one is a pretty short fic, so I hope you're all enjoying it so far. uwu
> 
> Follow me on twitter and lets talk about the precious Markjin moments that happened in the last couple of weeks uafdhsjfd [@morkjin](https://twitter.com/m0rkjin)

The funny thing about surprises is that they don’t always go the way you want them to. Sure, there are times when they are successful, and the person on the receiving end of it gets an adrenaline rush and provides a genuinely ecstatic reaction. But more often than not, it leads to unforeseen, yet not entirely unexpected, disaster.

However, there’s always been an optimist in Mark Tuan, always believing in that shining moment at the end of the tunnel. So sue him for trying to surprise Jinyoung once again.

It’s only been a few days since he’s last seen Jinyoung, but there’s this ache in his chest that he can’t seem to get rid of when they’re not together. It’s not like they haven’t texted at all, in fact they’ve been texting quite a lot recently, so much so that his mom had asked him to stop texting while eating at the dinner table.

What’s more is that texting Jinyoung is just not enough. Mark wants to see him physically, maybe hug him long enough for the bite of winter to be… well, not so biting. Which is how he found himself hiding behind a tree near the front of Jinyoung’s house, holding the gifts he bought for his mom and dad in his chest. He was hoping to see Jinyoung again so that they could wrap their presents together while listening to soft music, but instead what Mark finds is a scene entirely out of a movie.

He’s not spying on Jinyoung, nope. He’s just looking out for him. Behind a tree. In front of his place. Not weird at all! What’s weird is the familiarity between Jinyoung and this boy he’s hugging on the front porch. Which, Mark never actually _asked_ if Jinyoung is still single or not, he just assumed, or maybe hoped, that he is. Fear not, though. They haven’t kissed, which means that there’s a chance that this guy, whoever he is, is not Jinyoung’s boyfriend. Though Mark’s hopes are thoroughly shaken when said boy grab’s Jinyoung’s cheeks (with both hands? the nerve) and leans in to kiss him on the forehead. Mark sucks in a sharp gasp.

From this distance, Mark can see that Jinyoung’s eyes are closed, almost as if he welcomes the touch, and it makes Mark uneasy. When the other man turns around, Mark can’t help but let out yet another gasp. He can recognize those manly features anywhere, quite familiar with that strong jawline and those keen eyes and that goddamn best-friend-stealing smile.

Im Jaebum.

***

_It was during their sophomore year that everything changed. It was that year that showed the little cracks forming between Mark and Jinyoung’s friendship, the tiny crevices that they chose not to pay attention to in hopes of them closing up or going away. But alas, an earthquake in the form of Im Jaebum chose to make those imperfections even bigger and, consequently, permanent and nearly irreparable._

_Im Jaebum was the new transfer on campus, hot and eye-catching and ready to steal people's hearts with a single look. There was a sort of aura about him that attracted boys, girls, and everyone else alike, and it was the same for both Mark and Jinyoung. Though while Mark felt only a mere wisp of attraction, Jinyoung was under a spell of steady affection._

_Or at least that was what Mark assumed, if by the way they got along was anything to go by. From what Mark could tell, Jaebum had caught Jinyoung’s attention the first time he introduced himself in front of the class._

_“He looks cool, don’t you think?” Jinyoung said eagerly, and his eyes never left Jaebum._

_“Yeah, I suppose so.”_

_Coincidentally, Jaebum was also in the two classes with Jinyoung that Mark wasn’t in, History and Literature. And it wasn’t that it irked him, more so that he felt like he was missing out on the moments that they all could have experienced together. But yes, it also did annoy him for some strange reason. Mark chalked it up to friend jealousy and tried to move on, but it really wasn’t that easy._

_Especially to Mark, who had always been a possessive person. Not possessive in the obsessive sort of way, but Mark always yearned for his friends' attention, most specifically Jinyoung’s. He found deep satisfaction in the fact that Jinyoung enjoyed his presence as much as Mark enjoyed his. And now there was another person battling for Jinyoung’s attention, and Mark didn’t quite know how to handle that._

_What really set him off was the fact that the two seemed to be getting closer by the day, what with how Jinyoung gushed about him during lunch time, or the way Jinyoung would talk about him on the trip home, and how Jaebum seemed to spend more time being Jinyoung’s friend than Mark’s._

_Though the icing on the cake was when Mark was rummaging through his locker in between classes on a Thursday. He was looking for his Algebra I textbook when he felt the cool aura of a certain Im Jaebum in his general vicinity. Sure enough, when Mark closed his locker, he came face-to-face with that pretty boy and that suave persona._

_“Hey, Mark.” Jaebum said in greeting._

_In hindsight, Mark should have known from then on that this wasn’t normal. Jaebum didn’t usually talk to him unless Jinyoung was around. It all already seemed fishy from the start._

_“Jaebum,” Mark nodded in return, his textbook clutched to his chest. “What’s up?”_

_“Oh, nothing much,” he said. Though from the look of his features, Mark could tell that there was definitely something up. “I wanted to ask you a few questions.”_

_“What about?” They only had two classes together, both of which also had Jinyoung. So Mark couldn’t be sure what he could possibly ask Mark that he couldn’t ask the younger._

_After a short pause, Jaebum began. “Did you do your Chemistry homework? I was kind of stuck on some of the ionization parts.”_

_“Yeah.” It was unusually easy. Mark didn’t say, but he definitely thought it. “Want me to lend it to you?”_

_“I appreciate it, but I don’t want to get you in trouble.” Jaebum laughed before he cleared his throat. “Actually, I wanted to ask you something else. Something more important.”_

_At this, Mark lifted a confused brow. “Go on.”_

_Jaebum began to look shy in front of him, ducked head and hands behind his neck. “Well, you’re Jinyoung’s best friend right?”_

_A nod from Mark. An exhale from Jaebum._

_“Well, I was wondering if you knew of his dating status?” Jaebum asked softly as he scratched his cheek. “Like, if he’s single or if he’s dating anyone or something.”_

_Of all the questions about Park Jinyoung, this was the one that Mark refused to talk about. For all that he knew, Jinyoung could have been dating someone in secret. Though that thought seriously bothered Mark. He would not have liked it if his best friend kept something from him. Jaebum took Mark’s silence as reluctance to answer, which, he wasn’t wrong._

_“O-Of course you don’t have to tell me or anything,” Jaebum said hurriedly, hands splayed out in front of him in slight surrender. “I was just wondering. For research purposes of whatever. I’m not trying to date him or anything, hahaha. Because that would be ludicrous.”_

_Jaebum’s wordiness was starting to annoy Mark, so he answered his question just to get the boy to shut up and go on his merry way._

_“Jinyoung is single,” Mark replied flatly._

_“Oh, he is?”_

_“Pretty sure.”_

_“And you two aren’t-?”_

_At this Mark did a double take. Was that what people thought about them? That they were dating?_

_“What?” Mark almost reacted in slight distaste. “No.”_

_“Sweet!” Jaebum exclaimed, before he gathered himself and his reactions. “Or, not sweet. Poor single boy. But hey, it’s almost time for class. Thanks for the talk! Bye, pal!”_

_Jaebum patted him on the shoulder. And the motion was definitely not welcome. They weren’t pals or whatever, acquaintances at most. Mark was more than happy to give him an answer just so he would leave Mark alone._

_Though the more Mark thought about it, the more he wondered what the hell he had done. Was that enough ammunition for Jaebum to start courting Jinyoung? Was Jaebum even planning on courting Jinyoung? Surely he was, considering the fact that he went out of his way to ask Mark about the status of Jinyoung’s relationship._

_Add to that the fact that the public thought that Mark and Jinyoung were dating??? Which, he supposed it made sense. They were always together, attached from hip to hip ever since they were kids. They also held hands sometimes, especially when Mark felt nervous and Jinyoung was there to console him. Or when Jinyoung felt jittery, and Mark was there to act as his rock. They always had lunch together too. Though that was merely because eating together was tradition from their younger selves. And they also spent their weekends together, either playing video games or going out to get ice cream or hang out at the local playground or watch a movie. And oh my god._

_As Mark thought about it from a different perspective, he too would have guessed that they were in some sort of relationship that was past beyond friendship._

_And Mark found that he didn’t dislike the idea._

_If dating Jinyoung meant that they got to do the things they already did, just to an even better and more meaningful degree, then that was totally fine to Mark. Heck, that would be even better. Which led to the question that Mark didn’t want to answer:_

_Did Mark want to date Jinyoung?_

_It was during the next day on the way home that things began to shift._

_Jinyoung had been giving him weird looks the whole day, and Mark could not for the life of him figure out why. Jaebum also seemed to be a bit cold to him, which generally wasn’t welcome but today felt even more so. The only good thing that came out of the day was the fact that Mark got a near perfect score on his Algebra I quiz._

_More than once, Mark caught Jinyoung staring at him with what seemed to be a question on his lips, but each time, the younger boy provided nothing. Maybe it was Mark going crazy, or maybe it was Mark overreacting, but there was definitely something that happened between the three that Mark was apparently not aware of._

_It wasn’t until they made their way home, settled alone in Mark's room that Jinyoung budged._

_They were walking back home when Mark broke silence. Mark, feeling incredibly awkward from the day’s events, tried an everything-is-normal-and-nothing-happened approach. He hooked his arm around Jinyoung’s as they marched the streets side-by-side._

_“Hey, Jinyoungie,” Mark said sweetly. “Since it’s Friday, want to come over and play some video games with me? I think my mom is making rice cakes today. Don’t you like rice cakes?”_

_Jinyoung looked at him, lips pouted and eyebrows furrowed._

_“Yeah, that sounds great.”_

_Though from the tone of it, things did not sound great. Mark decided not to push it until they were alone in Mark’s room. Right now, he was content in simply walking home with Jinyoung the way they had always done, at each other’s side._

_They went about their usual routine, taking off their shoes, kissing Mark’s mom on both cheeks, racing up to Mark’s room to fight for the better controller. Mark let Jinyoung win this time._

_“Mario Kart?” Mark asked, taking out the game and already knowing the answer._

_Jinyoung nodded._

_Mark and Jinyoung sat on the edge of the bed, both of them cross-legged and comfortable. They played in silence, more silent than any of the times they had played this game, or any game in fact. Where Jinyoung had usually shouted at Mark for cheating, he now berated him in tiny huffs and small noises of displease. Mark found it all odd and incredibly off putting, so much so that at the end of the Grand Prix, Mark laid down his controller and faced Jinyoung._

_“Jinyoung, what’s wrong?” He demanded. Mark had had enough of Jinyoung’s passive aggressive attitude, surely caused by something Mark didn’t even know he had done. “What did I do?”_

_Jinyoung turned to him then. “How do you know it was something you did?”_

_“So there is something wrong,” Mark declared knowingly. “It has to have been something I did, or else you wouldn’t be so unnatural with me.”_

_He crossed his arms and huffed. It was disturbingly cute._

_“It’s not something you did, but rather something you said.”_

_Mark made a face. Mark tried to recall if he had said any malicious words towards his friend, but given the fact that they barely even talked today and yesterday, Mark came up with nothing._

_“What did I say that got you so ticked?” Mark asked softly._

_Jinyoung closed his eyes, as if answering the question would take too much out of him. He took a deep breath._

_“Did you tell Jaebum that I was single?” Jinyoung questioned seriously._

_Which, what? That was what Jinyoung was worried about all this time? What could have been so hurtful about that? Unless… Mark had given Jaebum the wrong information? And if he did, that would have meant that Jinyoung was supposedly not single, and shouldn’t Mark be the one upset about the fact that his best friend omitted big truths from him if that was indeed the case?_

_“Yeah, but only because I knew you weren’t dating anyone,” Mark stammered, suddenly uncomfortable. “I mean… you are single, aren’t you?”_

_Jinyoung had glanced at him then, and Mark saw the worried lines on his forehead and the flash of uncertainty in his eyes. Was Jinyoung actually dating someone? If so, Mark didn’t know how he’d be able to handle the fact that Jinyoung had been hiding it from him all this time._

_“Yeah, I am single,” Jinyoung said slowly, questioning eyes focused on Mark. “But I just thought…”_

_The moment dragged on, Jinyoung staring at Mark, Mark feeling scrutinized by such an intense look. Mark wondered what Jinyoung was thinking right now._

_“Jinyoungie?” He whispered. Jinyoung’s eyes fluttered and was first to break eye contact. He sighed, stood up, and began to pick up his school stuff in one quick motion. It seemed very much that Jinyoung wanted to leave, and that was one thing that Mark did not want until they had this little conflict resolved._

_“Never mind what I thought,” Jinyoung mumbled. “I’m suddenly not feeling very good. I’ll talk to you later.”_

_Mark didn't want to talk later, he wanted to talk now. Mark got up to his feet as well, but before he could even reply, Jinyoung was out the door, closing it with a decisive slam._

_Mark was shocked. Never had Jinyoung showed so much anger or irritability towards Mark, and the older concluded that he did not like it very much. In fact, he did not like it at all. Unfortunately, he spent too much time thinking because when he arrived downstairs and asked his mom where Jinyoung had gone, she simply shrugged and replied “I don’t know, dear, but he looked really upset when he ran out the door.”_

_Mark cursed under his breath so that his mom wouldn’t hear him. He opened the door to survey the outside, but it seemed that Jinyoung literally ran out, because there was no sign of him in the streets. Mark supposed he could try catching up with him and confront him at his house, but he figured he should gather all the facts as well as his emotions first before diving again into this argument._

_Mark rubbed his eyes, feeling like he had missed something incredibly important. Like he had made a mistake without knowing, or dotted something that was supposed to be dashed. He wanted nothing more than to set things straight with his friend._

_‘Talk to me, Jinyoungie.’ Mark had texted. When he received no reply in the next five minutes, he tried once more._

_‘Jinyoungie :c’_

_And when that also had no answer after another ten minutes of waiting, Mark gave up and sent one more text._

_‘We should talk tomorrow, Jinyoung… Good night.’_

_Suffice it to say, Mark got ready for bed incredibly annoyed both at Jinyoung and himself. Jinyoung for giving him absolutely no answer to his question, and himself for not knowing why Jinyoung was acting the way he is. Mark should know Jinyoung most, and yet, he was still uncertain as to why Jinyoung was so upset by the fact that he told Jaebum he was single._

_Mark pondered on it all night and narrowed it down into two things. It could be the fact that Jinyoung didn’t want Jaebum specifically to know that he was single. Why that would be, Mark had no answer. Perhaps he did not fancy Jaebum going after him as he had no feelings for the boy? But Mark thought Jinyoung had an eye for him. Maybe he had been mistaken._

_It could also be that Jinyoung didn’t want Mark to say he was single. Which, upon racking his head for answers, Mark came up with one. Again, that maybe Jinyoung did not want Jaebum to go after him, but with the reason that Jinyoung already had feelings for someone else._

_Could that somebody else be someone they knew? Could that someone else possibly be Mark? He tossed the idea around his head once more. He didn’t mind dating Jinyoung. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he seemed to like the idea. And the more he played with the idea, the more it made sense._

_Perhaps Jinyoung was hurt that Mark himself said that Jinyoung was single, because he had secretly hoped that Mark wanted him for himself. It wasn’t entirely unbelievable._

_Was that what Jinyoung had thought earlier in the afternoon? Could it be that he thought that maybe, after all these years of being together, of being best friends, that there was something going on… between them?_

_Mark sucked in a breath. He wanted this to be true. And he realized now, after all of these thoughts, that there was one truth to be gained from all of it._

_He had feelings for his friend, who may or may not have feelings for him. He bit his lip. He needed to talk to Jinyoung as soon as possible at this revelation. It made so much sense to him. They made so much sense. Mark could feel it in his gut that this was the correct answer, the one that Jinyoung was attempting to convey but couldn’t._

_Mark liked Jinyoung, had always liked him more than a friend should. He took care of Jinyoung more than a friend should, making sure the boy was fed and buckling him with his seatbelt despite the fact that the younger boy was old enough to do it on his own. Mark enjoyed Jinyoung’s presence, but enjoyed more the way he smiled with those perfectly straight teeth and crinkly eyes, all moon shaped and sparkly. He liked holding Jinyoung’s hand more than a friend should, reveled in the warmth it brought regardless of the weather. His stomach flipped at the thought that there was a chance that Jinyoung liked him back._

_Dating Jinyoung, it would be like Paradise. Mark knew this. Mark felt it deep in his heart and to the very core of his bones. Jinyoung brought happiness to every inch of Mark’s life, and Mark wanted, hoped, that he could do the same for Jinyoung._

_Mark could barely contain his excitement in his bed that he was unsure how he had fallen asleep, just that he did. When he woke up, all of the thoughts from the night before flooded back in. He immediately checked his phone to see if there were any messages from Jinyoung, only to find that the only thing staring back were the numbers 9:07 as well as zero notifications._

_Mark sighed. He knew what he had to do, and he wanted to do it well. He quickly got ready and went to the mall by himself. He had gone to the jewelry store and bought a pair of matching necklaces, sterling silver and half a heart on each. The credit card that his mom had given him earlier this year was supposed to be used for emergencies, and the blooming love he felt for his best friend was definitely an emergency._

_“Whoever she is, she’s lucky,” the cashier had said as they were finishing the transaction. Mark was bothered by the fact that the cashier assumed the person he was gifting this to was a girl._

_“It’s a he, actually,” Mark corrected the cashier. “And no, I’m the lucky one.”_

_The cashier looked sheepish, but nodded in apology nonetheless._

_When Mark got to the front of Jinyoung’s house, he rang the doorbell. He didn’t have to wait long as the door opened rather quickly._

_Mrs. Park was wearing simple clothes under a colorful apron, yet Mark thought she could easily pass for an actress even with that attire._

_“Mrs. Park! How have you been?” Mark asked excitedly._

_“I’ve been well, sweetie,” She said but she looked confused. “Are you here to see Jinyoung?”_

_Ever the psychic, she was. Mark nodded. “Yeah, is he home?”_

_“Well, he left just a little over ten minutes ago and told me that he was supposed to meet up with you and this Jaebum kid in the theaters,” Mrs. Park put her hands on her hips. “If that boy lied-”_

_“No,” Mark interrupted. Mark knew that Jinyoung would be in deep trouble if Mrs. Park found out that he lied. And that meant he would be grounded. And that meant that they wouldn’t be able to go on dates if this all went according to plan. Mark made a show to check his phone and chuckled nervously. “Ah, it's my fault. Silly me. I assumed that we would go take the bus to the movies together, but it looks like he has already gone before me. No worries, Mrs. Park. No need to tell him I stopped by.”_

_If Mark had acted strangely, Mrs. Park didn’t mention it. Only said, “Take care, dear. And do come by a bit more. We miss you here.”_

_Mark had given her a smile and a warm hug. It wasn’t until on the way back that it had dawned on Mark that Jinyoung was with Jaebum right now. And the thought that they were together in the absence of Mark’s presence got him strangely upset._

_‘Jinyoungie, I need to talk to you! Asap!’ Mark had texted._

_Jinyoung didn’t answer at all throughout the day. He didn’t even pick up when Mark tried to call him in the evening. On the third try, his call went straight to voicemail._

_It all made Mark especially nervous and uptight. It made him wonder if he had picked up on the clues wrong. Were they even clues or were they simply Mark’s wishful thinking? It chewed on Mark all weekend._

_Mark, who had attempted to get in contact with Jinyoung in every possible way. Jinyoung, who had somehow found a way to run away from Mark every chance he got. With each hour passing by, Mark began to panic. What if Jinyoung had suddenly changed his mind? What if Mark had suddenly changed his mind as well?_

_Upon asking himself, Mark knew the answer right away. He had feelings for Jinyoung. And he wanted to date him. And he wanted the whole world to know that he wanted to date him._

_It was early Monday that Mark’s world changed._

_Mark had knocked at the Park residence, ready to walk to school with Jinyoung as usual. Mr. Park answered the door looking slightly disheveled._

_“Mark, my boy!” Mr. Park greeted, giving his head a quick ruffle. Mark immediately fixed his hair to its usual look._

_“Is Jinyoung ready?” Mark asked avidly, jumping up in an attempt to get a peek inside the house._

_“Jinyoung just woke up actually,” Mr. Park sighed. “That boy... I’ll probably be giving him a ride to school today, so I suggest you start walking or you might be late as well!”_

_Mark nodded dejectedly. Why couldn’t he just spend a minute with Jinyoung so he could tell him how he felt? Mark grumbled as he made his way to school, the velvet box with matching necklaces feeling like a burden in his backpack all of a sudden._

_When he finally reached the school grounds, he made a beeline for his locker. He was taking his precious time organizing it when he finally heard his voice._

_“Hey, Mark,” Jinyoung said embarrassedly, one hand on his neck. Mark shrieked a little before enveloping him in the tightest hug. He felt nauseous at the fact that he hadn't seen Jinyoung or heard from him for two whole days. Never mind the fact that they were in a little argument, Mark was simply happy that Jinyoung was even here at all._

_Jinyoung received the hug stiffly, as if he hadn’t expected Mark to do it all of a sudden. But as the seconds ticked by, he snaked his arms around Mark’s torso and allowed himself to return the hug just as tightly and as warmly as it was given._

_“I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you the last two days,” Jinyoung apologized into Mark’s neck. “I needed to cool my head and gather my thoughts.”_

_“No, it’s okay,” Mark sighed into him. “I’m just glad that you’re here and talking to me and hugging me.”_

_Mark laughed. He could cry right now from how good it felt to be in Jinyoung's arms._

_“I missed you a lot, Jinyoungie.” Mark admitted before pulling back and taking Jinyoung by the cheeks. “And I have news!”_

_“Me too,” Jinyoung said carefully, though whatever his news was, it definitely didn’t seem to excite him the way Mark’s news did himself. “Uhm. You should go first.”_

_Mark smiled and breathed out. He took one of Jinyoung’s hand while he rummaged through his backpack. He had his hands on the box when-_

_“Hey, babe.”_

_Mark looked up to see Im Jaebum. He was about to ask him kindly to leave them for a moment, before-_

_“Oh, hey, babe,” Jinyoung answered guiltily, eyes flickering to Mark for a quick second. Jaebum gave Jinyoung a quick peck on the lips in front of Mark, and Mark’s mood immediately shattered. Funny how much one single moment could ruin a person’s whole day._

_The funny thing about surprises was that they didn’t always go the way you wanted them to. Surely, there were times when they were successful, and the person on the receiving end of it got an adrenaline rush and provided a genuinely ecstatic reaction. But more often than not, it led to unforeseen, yet not entirely unexpected, disaster._

_Sadly, this was one disaster Mark did not know how to get himself out of._

_***_

When Jaebum finally leaves, Mark makes his way towards Jinyoung’s door. He knocks on his door lightly, gifts for his parents clutched in his other hand.

From behind the door, Mark can hear Jinyoung’s voice.

“Did you forget s-”He stops when he realizes that it’s Mark on the doorstep. “Mark! I thought you said you would text when you came over again?”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Mark laughs meekly. “Though my surprises never really turn out to be all that good.”

Mark coughs, nerves tingly. “Was that Jaebum I just saw?”

Jinyoung stutters. “Yeah, he uh, he usually visits me around this time of the year to see how I’m doing. Because of the thing with my parents and all. Did you, uhm, did you want to come in?”

“Only if you have hot chocolate.” Mark giggles.

“Deal.”

Jinyoung prepares two mugs in the kitchen, and Mark, after placing the bag of gifts down, follows him. He clears his throat.

“Hey, so uhm,” Mark begins unsurely. “You and Jaebum… Are you still?”

Jinyoung coughs. “Ah, no. We’re, uhm, we’re just really good friends. That’s all. We’re not dating anymore. Or anything.”

Jinyoung is breathing heavily. And as if to make sure that his point has gotten across, Jinyoung adds more. "He's happily dating someone right now. Three years come February actually. I'm glad for him."

“And you’re, uh,” Mark continues, getting closer to Jinyoung. “You’re not dating anyone?”

Jinyoung simply licks his lips and looks at Mark the way Mark has always wanted. Like being apart physically hurt and all that matters was Mark, and Jinyoung, and Mark and Jinyoung together. Like the only people in the world are the two of them. Like he wants Mark more than he's ever wanted anything in his life.

“No, not since,” Jinyoung shakes his head. And there’s that feeling creeping up Mark’s neck, like something big is about to happen. And Mark wants to just let it occur, has been wanting this moment since he can remember. Mark steps even closer, so close that he can feel the warmth radiating off of Jinyoung. “Not since you left.”

Mark breathes out, bringing up his hand to Jinyoung’s cheek. Jinyoung closes his eyes, like he’s trying to memorize this moment. Mark swipes his thumb, the boy’s face feeling warm despite how chilly the winter has been to them.

“Can I kiss you?” Mark asks softly.

Jinyoung nods.

And they do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments very much appreciated! I want to know what you think! We're nearly done now! We've basically passed the halfway point of the fic. This one is a pretty short fic, so I hope you're all enjoying it so far. uwu
> 
> Follow me on twitter and lets talk about the precious Markjin moments that happened in the last couple of weeks uafdhsjfd [@morkjin](https://twitter.com/m0rkjin)


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markjin talk it out (a little) and does uwu stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments very much appreciated! I want to know what you think! One more chapter after this!
> 
> Follow me on twitter and lets talk about markjin [@morkjin](https://twitter.com/m0rkjin)

_When Jinyoung asked Mark, rather guiltily, what his news was, Mark only shook his head and stuttered, “I got a near perfect score on my Algebra quiz.”_

_He rifled through his bag to find the darn thing, but the goddamn quiz didn’t want to be found, and Mark kind of felt the same from the utter humiliation he was currently experiencing. In the end, he told them that he couldn’t find the quiz and simply excused himself muttering something unintelligible and hoping that Jinyoung and Jaebum wouldn’t follow. If either Jinyoung or Jaebum saw him teary eyed or red cheeked, neither of them said anything and just let Mark be on his way._

_The whole relationship dampened Mark and Jinyoung’s friendship._

_Lunch times were no longer just Mark and Jinyoung. Nowadays, their table was taken by Mark, Jinyoung, and Jinyoung’s new beau Jaebum. It would have been fine, honestly, but Jaebum and Jinyoung acted so much like a couple that it grated Mark to the point that he began to spend fewer and fewer days with them during lunch._

_Instead, he started hanging out with two freshmen who started following him like ducklings would their mother. They went by the names of Bambam and Yugyeom. They were an interesting duo. What one lacked in one category, the other made up for in that same aspect. While Bambam was short and loud, Yugyeom was tall and rather shy in comparison (though he was shyer when Bambam was not around). They were as dumb as they were smart, and they were plenty smart._

_The Fridays that were reserved for Mark and Jinyoung ice cream time were replaced with date nights with Jaebum. Mark wasn’t jealous, no, but he would totally appreciate it if Jinyoung would spend more of his days with him. Alone. Away from Jaebum and this messy triangle that Mark got himself into._

_Instead, Mark’s Fridays went by with him, Yugyeom, and Bambam going to the arcades where they would spend the whole day (and most of their allowance) playing until their wrists stung and thumbs felt numb. Fortunately for them, both Mark and Bambam were on the upper class status of the economy, which meant that they had more than enough tokens to use to play games and buy prizes. It wasn’t for nought though, seeing as it enabled Mark to win a ton of Pikachu themed items, ranging from stuffed toys to backpacks and even hats and keychains._

_If Pikachu reminded him of one Park Jinyoung, no one was the wiser._

_Mario Kart days in Mark’s room became a Mario Kart party, with all of them cramped inside those four walls. Jinyoung got along with Bambam and Yugyeom, so much that he started teasing them mercilessly about every little thing. Jaebum, on the other hand, felt more like a fatherly figure that would rein them in when they got too wild. And being 13, squeaky voiced, and immature, the duo did have a tendency to get incredibly noisy as much as they were obnoxious._

_Two years went by quickly and painfully. They went by like this:_

_With Mark watching Jinyoung and Jaebum from afar. Mark wished it was him that Jinyoung said yes to. He wondered how everything would have played out then._

_With Mark watching their held hands across the table. Mark wished it was him on the other side of Jinyoung. He wondered if Jinyoung missed the warmth of holding Mark’s hand as much as Mark did._

_With Jaebum planning a party for Jinyoung’s birthday. Mark wished it was him who was able to say ‘Happy Birthday, Jinyoungie’ right before Jinyoung blew his cake. He wondered what Jinyoung had wished for, hoped it was something that included Mark._

_(Mark gave Jinyoung a cute little peach pin and a sky blue shirt for the occasion. It matched the pastel pink hat and bunny pin that Jinyoung gifted him just a couple weeks before for Mark’s own birthday. The pink was his favorite headwear, and he found himself using it at least twice a week, while the pin was forever clipped to his backpack.)_

_With Jinyoung and Jaebum kissing each other during the New Year. Mark wished it was him whose lips touched Jinyoung’s, fireworks exploding in the sky, the temperature cold but everything feeling just right. He wondered if his image fluttered across Jinyoung’s closed eyes when Jinyoung and Jaebum kissed._

_With Mark staring at the way Jaebum and Jinyoung danced during their high school dance. He wished it was them two who were gliding effortlessly on the dance floor, hands on each other’s waists, heads resting on each other’s shoulders, feeling like the two luckiest people in the world. He wondered if Jinyoung thought of him then, if Jinyoung ever thought about him at all these days._

_It was near the beginning of the end of the school year wherein Mark solidified his decision._

_It had been weighing on him, the thought of leaving it all behind. Perhaps it was Mark’s cowardice or his love for his parents that pulled him back. Maybe it was his friends and the thought of missing their bright smiles and brilliant laughter that restrained Mark from actually going._

_Deep down though, Mark knew the real reason. And The Reason_ _TM _ _was simply an arm’s length away. Both Mark and Jinyoung were on the nearby playground, sitting on swings they hadn’t sat on for months, and hanging out alone for what seemed like years. It all felt oddly relaxing yet bittersweet._

_Snow covered the surrounding grassy area, and Mark and Jinyoung’s breaths came in puffs of smoke. The winter made Mark’s toes freeze as he swung his swing, grip tight on the ice cold chains that supported him. He’d always been susceptible to the low temperature._

_“I don’t know yet,” Jinyoung answered his question, stopping his swinging and looking very unsure of himself. “How about you? Which university are you going to attend?”_

_Mark slowed down to a stop and shrugged. “I’m not sure either. Maybe somewhere far away from here. I think I need a break from this town.”_

_“Well don’t go too far away now,” Jinyoung chuckled nervously before clearing his throat. “To be honest with you, my vision of the future was always the two of us rooming together for university. Exploring the city each day, probably eating with unhealthy habits like having ramen or take out every night.”_

_The thought of not being able to do that physically ached Mark’s bones._

_“Is that what you want?”_

_Jinyoung glanced at him then. “Are you kidding? Obviously. You’re my best friend.”_

_Right. The best friend, Mark thought bitterly. Not the boyfriend._

_“I just thought you’d choose Jaebum to be your roommate instead,” Mark smiled sheepishly._

_“I suppose yeah,” Jinyoung said thoughtfully. “That would make more sense wouldn’t it.”_

_“Are you happy?” Mark asked. Jinyoung raised an eyebrow._

_“I’m very content with my life right now.”_

_Mark nodded._

_“Okay,” he said with a wanton smile. “Just wanted to make sure.”_

_The wind was suddenly too chilly for Mark to handle, and Mark shivered in his seat._

_“Tsk,” Jinyoung shook his head and stood up, removing his own scarf to wrap it comfortably around Mark’s neck. Mark wanted to protest since he saw how red Jinyoung’s ears were from the cold, but the words were stilted as soon as they left his lips and chattering teeth._

_It further proved the fact that Mark was worse off than Jinyoung. “Why do you never use scarves? I told you they really help, especially during the winter.”_

_Mark snorted. Scarves made his neck itchy, but Jinyoung was right about the fact that it made him warm. Though he figured that was probably more due to the fact that he could smell Jinyoung's trademark scent, a mixture of tangerines and something sweet like honey._

_“Anyway, we should go,” Jinyoung hauled him up by the hand. “Or we might get sick.”_

_Upon standing up, Mark was painfully aware of the mere centimeters between them. And Mark felt the sudden urge to do something incredibly stupid like kiss Jinyoung in this playground. The look that Jinyoung was giving him made his breath short, and Mark knew then that this was a dangerous moment for them to be experiencing._

_Because Mark was selfish, he would have gladly took Jinyoung by the lips that moment had it not been for the chilly breeze to blow past them once more. It shocked Mark back to reality._

_Kissing Jinyoung now would cause more problems than it was worth. Jinyoung said he was happy with his life, and causing Jinyoung to be unhappy would be the last thing Mark would want to do._

_Because even though Mark was selfish, he was also in love. And he loved Jinyoung. And what was love other than putting that person’s needs and happiness before yours?_

_So that was why, a month before graduation, Mark told his parents that he would be flying to California. His mom had gone into hysterics. His dad not much better. But they calmed down to the idea seeing as the universities there were highly ranked across the country and the world, and Mark made them promise not to tell anyone until he left._

_And that was why, right after the graduation ceremony, Mark asked Jinyoung once more._

_“Are you happy?”_

_To which Jinyoung answered, “Yes, I am.”_

_And Mark gave him the longest hug to date. Tried to memorize the way Jinyoung fit against his body. How he felt under his hands. Inhaled his scent one last moment._

_“I’m glad to hear that.” He whispered into Jinyoung’s neck, and then he was walking away to Jinyoung’s shout of “We’re still on for this weekend, right?”_

_To which Mark gave a thumbs up without looking back, because if he did so, Jinyoung would have seen the way he was gnawing at his lips and the dramatic drop of the first tear falling from his eyes._

_Early the next day, Mark gathered everything he loved and placed it all in a box. The matching necklaces he bought for him and Jinyoung. The pikachu wristwatch Jinyoung gave him when they were young, now broken but stayed strong for a while nonetheless. The popsicle sticks with jokes on them that made Jinyoung laugh until his sides hurt. The movie ticket stub from their first movie together as well as the receipt from Kim’s Diner from the dinner after. The pastel pink hat that he considered his favorite, along with the rabbit pin that Jinyoung gifted him for his birthday. The scarf Jinyoung wound around him during their time on the playground. And some of the more memorable notes that Mark and Jinyoung had passed to each other during class and a few other items that he placed sentimental value on._

_He closed it gently, before taking out a sharpie and writing DO NOT OPEN with shaky hands. Satisfied with his shaky handwriting, Mark placed the box in his closet, on top of the high shelf that was built in there. That morning, he said goodbye to his memories as well as his parents._

_Mark went to California but left his box of treasure, as well as his heart, back at home._

_***_

Mark and Jinyoung are lying half-naked on Jinyoung’s bed, their shirts having been discarded somewhere between the kitchen and the living room. Jinyoung has his head on Mark’s arm, while his own are thrown across Mark’s chest. Mark can feel the feathery sensation of Jinyoung writing something on it, and Mark can’t help but giggle.

“That tickles.”

Jinyoung looks up at him, smirking.

“Does it now?”

Mark nods. Jinyoung doesn’t stop.

“Since we’ve missed out on each other for the better half of the decade, let’s play a game of questions so we can learn each other the way we used to.” Jinyoung suggests as he makes more circling motions on Mark’s chest.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Mark hums and closes his eyes. “You go first.”

“Are you single?” Jinyoung asks before laughing lightly. Mark opens his eyes and stays silent for a while, and the longer the silence, the lower the volume of Jinyoung’s laughter became. Jinyoung sits up quickly, looking at Mark in disbelief. “What the fuck, Mark? You’re not single?”

Mark chews on his lips. “It’s complicated. I am single. Soon to be.”

“What do you mean soon to be?” Jinyoung pulls at his blanket as if he trying to hide his exposed body from Mark.

“I’m separated from my wife,” Mark says meekly, wincing.

“A wife, Mark? A fucking wife?” Mark has never heard Jinyoung so livid, or curse really.

“We already agreed that we’re getting a divorce. We already signed the papers and everything, but it takes a couple of months for things to take into effect,” Mark explains. It seems to satisfy Jinyoung the tiniest bit, and Mark takes that as his go ahead to pull him closer once more.

“Jinyoungie,” Mark begins as he tucks stray hairs behind Jinyoung’s ear. “I already told you before that the reason I came back was because my roommate was trying to make my life a living hell. Well that roommate is my wife. Or ex-wife, I should say.”

And when Jinyoung still doesn’t say anything, Mark holds both of his hands and continues. “And I also mentioned that I’m here because I had to stay away and think about whether or not I’ve done the right thing? For my future and my life? Well that ‘thing’ was the divorce.”

Jinyoung is still pouting, but Mark can see his exterior beginning to crack. He’s being totally honest, and Mark just wants Jinyoung to genuinely believe him.

“So you’re really, truly divorced?” Jinyoung questions nervously.

“99.9%. We’re just waiting for the government to send us confirmation of our status.” Mark licks his lips.

“And you don’t feel anything for her anymore?”

“Nothing,” Mark shakes his head before clearing his throat. “And nowhere near close to what I felt for you.”

“And I’m not just a rebound?” Jinyoung asks softly. Mark laughs, because that’s the last thing he would call Jinyoung.

“Far from that,” he answers, squeezing Jinyoung’s hands. “You were always my first choice.”

Jinyoung sucks in a breath. “Always?”

“Always.”

“Even during high school?”

“Even before that.” Mark has never been more sure of anything in his life.

But Jinyoung looks like he wants to throw Mark off a cliff, and Mark is confused because he thought that that was what Jinyoung wanted to hear.

Jinyoung pulls his hands away as if he was burned. And then he’s slapping Mark’s shoulder in quick successions.

“Then why- the hell- did- you leave- me here?!”

“First of all, that hurt,” Mark pouts as he rubs the place Jinyoung was hitting just seconds before. “And second of all, technically that’s your third or fourth legitimate question so I think it’s my turn.”

Jinyoung huffs petulantly, crossing his arms like the big child that he is. “Fine.”

Mark rolls his eyes before taking a deep, exaggerated breath. “Why did you date Jaebum?”

Bullseye. Jinyoung is looking at anywhere but him, lips sticking out cutely. It seems like he doesn’t want to reveal the answer, as if doing so would change the situation somehow, or alter their path in some way. Mark needs him to know that there’s probably nothing he can say that will make Mark run away again.

Mark tilts Jinyoung’s chin so that they’re face-to-face. “Just be honest with me, Jinyoung. The past has passed, and there’s nothing we can do about it now. But just know that there’s nothing you can say that will change my feelings for you.”

Jinyoung gives him a firm nod.

“Well, I did like him back then, even if that’s not what you want to hear,” he begins, eyes not leaving Mark’s. “I liked him, and he asked me to be his boyfriend, so I said yes.”

Jinyoung chews on his lips, and Mark motions for him to continue.

“Obviously that’s not all. Like you, I also had feelings ever since we were children. Even if I liked him back then, I still liked you a lot more. And I remember, so vividly, the night he told me about this because it changed my thoughts forever. He said that you said I was single.”

Mark is shaking a little, fists clenched. Jinyoung also liked him. After all this time, of wondering whether or not Jinyoung reciprocated his feelings, Mark finally gets his answer. And it just makes him feel exhausted. He wants to berate Jinyoung for not waiting one weekend, one damn weekend, before saying yes to Jaebum. But he’s also angry at himself for giving up so quickly. They wasted so many years away from each other, so many years apart when they could have been in each other’s arms.

Jinyoung scoots closer towards Mark, as if sensing the wild emotions raging inside him. Jinyoung rests his hand on Mark’s thigh, and it feels warm and brings Mark out of his head and back to reality.

“And when he said that, everything just felt hopeless. The fact that it was you who said it made me believe that you genuinely felt nothing more than friendship for me. And I thought that I couldn’t wait anymore. I had been waiting for years and years, and at that moment, all the years I spent waiting seemed so fruitless. So even though I wanted you, more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life, I chose Jaebum because I would have rather settled for second best than be that friend who followed you like a puppy and a broken heart.”

“You should have waited one more weekend,” Mark sighs, but Jinyoung frowns.

“You’re not getting the point, Mark. I was tired of waiting,” Jinyoung grits his teeth. “And you could have not given up so easily. You didn’t have to run away either. And did you really have to do it without telling me?”

Jinyoung is fuming again, and Mark thinks this is going in the wrong direction. They shouldn’t blame each other for things that have already happened, seeing as neither of them could go back in time to change it.

“I don’t think I would have been able to do it if I actually had to say goodbye. And what would you have done? Would you have followed me and leave behind everything you had?” Mark demands. Jinyoung is silent, stone-faced and unmoving. “And how could I have gotten between you and Jaebum with a conscious mind? Did you want me to be a home wrecker? Because I don’t think-”

“No, of course not,” Jinyoung breathes out, voice cracking and emotional. “I just- I don’t know.”

Jinyoung brushes his hair with a sweaty hand, staring at the blanket and looking entirely too tired for this whole exchange. “I just really wish we could have done things a lot more differently, you know?”

Mark curls and uncurls his fingers. He knows. They were both dumb teenagers. He looks up at the ceiling and takes multiple breaths. But then Jinyoung is lying down and pulling Mark down with him. Mark lets himself be dragged, finds salvation in drowning along with Jinyoung. They’re on their sides, facing each other, breaths mingling between them. Mark is so content just doing this, looking at Jinyoung, tracing his figure his eyes, memorizing every curve and line and dot on Jinyoung’s face.

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung whispers. “I think everything is just still too fresh, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to handle everything.”

“Me too,” Mark says gently. “I didn’t mean to raise my voice. You just make me feel a lot.”

Jinyoung laughs lightly before bringing his hand to Mark’s face and swiping his thumb against his cheek.

“I really, really missed you,” Jinyoung admits before leaning in and giving Mark’s lips a peck.

“Trust me, I know.” Mark gives him a kiss back.

“So two things we uncovered today,” Jinyoung says as he kisses Mark once more. “We were dumb back then.” Another kiss, this time softer, longer. “And we still have feelings for each other now.”

Mark whines, thinking Jinyoung would dive back in again but didn’t. Mark shivers. He momentarily forgets that they’re shirtless, and it’s winter. Jinyoung gulps before winding his arm around Mark. “What should we do now?”

“I think we spilled too much truth today,” Mark answers unsurely, but Jinyoung is nodding slowly as well. “So maybe it’s time we take a step back from all of these feelings. And put a momentary ceasefire on all of these questions. And reasons for this and that. We can continue with questions on a two-a-day basis, or more depending on how emotional we get. Let’s just be us for a while and take it one day at a time. ”

“What do you mean by that?” Jinyoung sticks his lips out, and Mark has no choice but to plant a kiss on them again. Mark could get used to this. Jinyoung is addictive.

Mark sits up and gets on his feet, pulls Jinyoung to his feet as well so that they’re standing toe-to-toe. It slightly irks him whenever he’s reminded of the fact that Jinyoung has height on him, and worse now that he also has bigger muscles than Mark.

“Let’s just take it easy, and do things that we missed out on.”

Jinyoung giggles, looking at the ground shyly. “Is this you asking me out on dates?”

“This is absolutely me asking you out on dates, movies, sleepovers, _adult_ sleepo-”

Jinyoung playfully hits him on the chest.

“Ow.” Mark rubs his chest in mock offense. “Do you not want to have an adult sleepover, or?” Mark enjoys the way Jinyoung’s ears are burning as much as his cheeks.

“I do,” he manages out, chin held high. “But you have to take me out first, of course. You’re not just gonna sweep me off my feet and get me in bed just like that.”

“Wanna bet?”

“What?”

And then Mark pulls Jinyoung up bridal style. Except, Jinyoung is 65 kilograms of muscle and Mark is 59 kilograms of skin and bones, so naturally they fall to the bed together in a fit of laughter.

They laugh again when Jinyoung realizes that Mark _literally_ just did what Jinyoung said he couldn’t do, literally sweeping him off his feet and getting him onto his literal bed.

***

Jinyoung groans.

Mark’s hands hurt.

This is a lot harder than it looked.

Mark’s hands are getting tired.

Jinyoung sighs.

“You’re doing it wrong,” Jinyoung says. “Here let me help.”

“Fine.”

Jinyoung takes the wrapping paper from him and begins wrapping Mark’s gifts with ease. It’s all very practiced, with Jinyoung’s fingers moving swiftly across the whole thing. He’s so attentive to detail, ever the perfectionist, and it makes Mark’s heart flutter.

“You’re really good with your hands, you know that?” Mark giggles.

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “Can I get more tape?”

“That you can.” Mark rips off little pieces for Jinyoung to use as he makes clean folds and cuts on the paper. When he finishes the wrapping, Jinyoung turns the gifts around and upside down, as if checking to see if there were any imperfections on the thing. Hint: there isn’t. When he’s satisfied, Jinyoung puts everything on top of the mini coffee table.

“I really like what you’ve done with the place,” Mark mentions after looking around. There’s a mini Christmas tree in the corner near the fireplace. Some decorations hang on the fake branches, colors ranging from red to green to blue. A star sits on top, and it looks adorable with Jinyoung’s gray wall as the backdrop. There’s also a hint of Christmas in the air due to the festive lights that are pinned against the wall and some of the shelves. “I didn’t notice it earlier because we were kind of making out all the way to your bed.”

Jinyoung laughs. “Well, thank you. I figured it was about time to start celebrating Christmas again.”

Mark rubs his neck and asks shyly. “And why’s that?”

“I used to find Christmas a depressing holiday,” Jinyoung admits openly, sitting closer to Mark. “But I think it’s time to let the death of my parents go and move on. I know they would rather me be happy during this time of the year than be sad all of vacation.”

“That’s great,” Mark smiles, and it is. His big head just kind of thought that maybe he also had something to do with it.

“And you too,” Jinyoung says as he rests his head on Mark’s shoulder and takes his hand. “I wanted to celebrate you too.”

It makes Mark feel warm.

“Anyway, do you want to watch a movie?” Jinyoung asks.

“And cuddle?” Mark has his hopes up.

Jinyoung nods.

“Heck yeah, I do!” Mark cheers.

“Alright,” Jinyoung kisses him on the cheek. “Why don’t you pick a movie while I go microwave us some popcorn.”

Mark scans the selection giddily, wondering to himself what the best movie to watch that will get them into a soft seasonal mood.

He ends up picking Love, Actually, a season favorite for couples and a quiet night in. Mark brings over the big comforter from Jinyoung’s bed so that they’ll be more cozy on the sofa. Jinyoung comes back with a bowl of popcorn and two mugs of steaming hot chocolate.

Mark settles himself in Jinyoung’s arms this time, content with either being the big spoon or the little spoon so long as Jinyoung is on the other side. And it’s not long before both of their breaths match each other and begin to even out.

Jinyoung falls asleep first because Mark could hear the slightest hint of snores from his deep breathing. He’s about to comment about moving to the bed so that they’re more comfortable when the words die in his mouth, and instead, finds it harder to move anything else. So he lets sleep take over him.

Mark is warm even in his dreams.

He wakes to Jinyoung gently shaking him.

“Mark,” Jinyoung whispers, leaving a trail of kisses on Mark's jawline. “Mark.”

“Hmm?” He stirs.

“Mark, wake up, it’s midnight.”

“S’midnight?”

“Yes,” Jinyoung chuckles quietly. “I think you should tell your parents that you’re okay. Your phone’s been buzzing for a couple minutes now.”

Mark reaches out blindly for his phone and finds it surprisingly quickly on top of the coffee table.

He squints to read, but the screen is still too bright and hurts his eyes. Upon closer inspection, he sees that he has two missed calls from his mom and one from his dad. Sighing, Mark sends a quick text saying he was fine and that he was sleeping over Jinyoung's.

“Bold of you to assume that I’d just let you stay the night,” Jinyoung teases.

Mark’s eyes widen, preparing his lips for a pout. He’s about to argue when Jinyoung laughs again and pinches his cheek. “I’m just kidding. You’re so cute.”

“Mmm, tell me more about my good looks.”

“Come on, handsome,” Jinyoung sits up and pulls Mark along with him. “Let’s get to bed.”

“But it’s so far,” Mark complains. He’s about to stand up when Jinyoung suddenly picks him up bridal style. He doesn’t yelp, no, but just about. Mark flushes, hiding his face and embarrassment in the crook of Jinyoung’s neck. “You didn’t have to carry me.”

“You were complaining,” Jinyoung says with controlled breathing. “And I wanted to try it.”

They make it to the bedroom with ease, Jinyoung depositing Mark gingerly onto the mattress.

“And? What’s it like carrying a million bucks?”

“Not as hard as I thought.”

Mark giggles. “And are we having an _adult_ sleepover tonight?” Mark tries as he drags Jinyoung down onto the bed.

“Oh no, not tonight.”

“But Jinyoungieee-”

“I think we should do it after Christmas, or tomorrow when we’ve both cleaned down there and showered and stuff.”

Mark huffs. “Fine. But when we do, we’re going to fuck all ni-”

“MARK!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments very much appreciated! I want to know what you think! One more chapter after this!
> 
> Follow me on twitter and lets talk about markjin [@morkjin](https://twitter.com/m0rkjin)


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jinyoung reveal more truths to each other. Christmas happens. Lots of other stuff happens too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments very much appreciated! I want to know what you think! This is the last chapter!
> 
> This work is unbeta'd so apologies for all the mistakes that you see!
> 
> Follow me on twitter and lets talk about markjin [@morkjin](https://twitter.com/m0rkjin)

When Mark wakes up, it’s to an empty bed. He feels around and notices that the bed is still warm, which puts him at ease. He grabs one of Jinyoung’s hoodies and puts it on, walking sleepily towards the kitchen with his arms tucked inside his armpits. The winter here is no joke.

“Hey,” Jinyoung greets, smiling as he sips on a cup of what Mark assumes is coffee. “How’d you sleep?”

“Like a log.”

Mark approaches him, gently stealing his mug before having a sip and placing it on the counter. This close, he can see how puffy Jinyoung’s cheeks look, as if he hadn’t slept a wink.

“How about you?” Mark asks incredulously.

“Slept well,” Jinyoung answers, a lazy smile forming on his face. And Mark can’t tell if he’s lying or not, but gives him a good morning kiss nonetheless.

“I’m going to go back to my parents’ to take a shower, and then I’ll come back here, okay?” Mark states softly, hands going around Jinyoung’s neck.

The other boy sighs. “If you must. But hurry back.”

“I will,” Mark replies, giving Jinyoung a see-you-later kiss before booping him on the nose and running away giggling.

When Mark gets back to his parents, his mom is awake drinking her usual morning coffee.

“Hey, dear. How was Jinyoung’s?” She asks, taking a sip of her beverage.

“Uhm, it was good.” Mark says nervously. “I was helping him decorate his place. Will probably stop by again later this morning.”

“Decorating?” His mom asks, eyes bulging. “That boy hasn’t decorated since… well you get the point.”

“I know, he told me. Anyway, I’m going to go shower. I’ll talk to you in a bit.” Mark races up the first couple steps before his mom calls him again.

Mark sighs. “Yes, mother?”

“Is that Jinyoung’s sweatshirt?”

Mark looks down at his clothes. Fuck. It is, indeed, Jinyoung’s hoodie.

“No,” Mark lies, voice an octave higher than usual. “No, it isn’t.”

And then he’s hurrying up the stairs before his mom can say anything else.

When Mark gets back to Jinyoung’s, it’s to actually start helping him decorate.

Mark hangs a line of Christmas lights on the tail ends of the rooftop. He uses a ten foot ladder and a hammer to place nails where they need to go to make the festive lights create a wave-like pattern.

Jinyoung whistles. “You look sexy holding a hammer.”

Mark smirks, flexing what little biceps he has in front of Jinyoung. Jinyoung fans himself before mock fainting.

They also wrap some lights onto the rails in front of the porch to produce a livelier effect. And to make the house even more dynamic, they outline the windows with some Christmas lights as well. To finish the whole look, Jinyoung pins an aged, yet elegant wreath on the door.

“I want to see it all lit up. Turn it on when I give the go ahead,” Jinyoung says as he bounds up towards the front yard to take a good look of the house. Jinyoung gives him a thumbs up, and Mark connects the plug to the outlet.

Instantly, the bulbs light up in different colors, blinking in a pattern soothing to Mark’s eyes. He chances a look at Jinyoung and the air catches in his throat.

Jinyoung is smiling handsomely, hair gleaming in colors and eyes sparkling along with the lights. He looks gorgeous standing there, hands by his sides, the orangey-pink sky acting as his background. The snow reflects the lights as well, flickering as they go. And from here, it looks as if the snow-covered ground is cheering along to the music playing in Mark’s ears.

He makes his way towards Jinyoung, and with each step, Jinyoung begins to look even more ethereal. He stops right in front of the younger, breathing heavily for god knows what. He grabs Jinyoung’s face, with both hands, closing his eyes and giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

When he pulls back, Jinyoung immediately darts forward again to capture his mouth, as if one kiss wasn’t enough. Mark sighs into it, feeling the sensation of Jinyoung’s arms wrapping around the small of his back and pulling him closer. After they break apart, neither of them move away, content in being this close. They rest their foreheads on each other’s shoulders, reveling in each other’s warmth as they slow dance to the whistling wind.

Later in the night, they continue their game of questions again.

Mark is lying down with Jinyoung in his arms, while the younger snuggles closer to his chest and wraps his limbs around Mark like an octopus.

“I still can’t believe you’ve married and now almost divorced.”

“I can believe it,” Mark snorts. Because he can. They’ve made it crystal clear that the time to separate was long overdue, and they feel nothing for each other anymore other than a sense of mutual respect and friendship gained through years of being together. However, that still doesn’t stop them from making each other’s lives difficult. “Are we continuing the questions?”

“Well, are you ready to?” Jinyoung asks, looking up at Mark. Mark nods in return.

“You can go first,” Mark suggests, knowing full well the question that’s about to come out of Jinyoung’s mouth.

“Why did you leave?” Jinyoung’s voice is void of any sort of confidence.

Mark takes a deep breath. He plays with Jinyoung’s hair as he does so, hoping that the action will keep them both grounded to the present rather than the pain and mistakes of the past.

“This is going to sound terribly cliche, but I did it for you,” Mark explains shyly, feeling his cheeks heat up and refusing to look down to see Jinyoung’s reaction. “You were in a relationship with Jaebum. And I asked you, not once but twice, if you were happy. And you sa-”

“And I said yes,” Jinyoung finishes. Mark glances at him, sees that Jinyoung has his chin jutted out in annoyance, possibly a quirk he developed while being with Jaebum.

“Yeah. And since you said so twice, who was I to be selfish and get in the way of your happiness? I didn’t want you to not be happy or to cause you any misery and heartbreak, but I know better now.”

Jinyoung laughs coldly. “Isn’t it ironic how your actions brought exactly the things you didn’t want it to bring?”

Mark huffs, but he’s still carding his fingers through Jinyoung’s hair. “Well, I think if you had just said you were unhappy, this all could have been settled back then.”

“But I wasn’t unhappy,” Jinyoung counters, pouting. “I was satisfied with my life. I had a boyfriend who I liked and cared about me. I had the bestest best friend in the world. I was on my way to a good university. I was very much content with the direction I was going, so I’m sorry for being honest when you asked. However, I’d be the first to say that I would have been happier if you were my boyfriend instead of Jaebum.”

That makes Mark feel at ease.

“Is that all though?” Jinyoung prods. “You only left because you didn’t want to get in the way of my happiness?”

“Well, I left for me too,” Mark confesses, the words feeling bitter in his mouth. It’s a truth that he doesn’t like to voice out loud or even think about, because it shows just how much of a coward he truly is under that courageous bravado. “I didn’t want to see you two get old and get married. Like you, I didn’t want to be that desperate best friend who pined from afar. So I ran away from the situation. I should have known back then that it would all come back and bite me in the ass.”

Jinyoung snorts. “If it makes you feel any better, and I feel guilty confessing this, I sometimes fancied the idea of us being together instead of being with Jaebum. Like during the school dance? I kind of wished I was slow dancing with you instead. And it drove me crazy because I always felt like I was cheating on Jaebum with my feelings, but I couldn’t help it. It was you who I wanted most.”

They’re both silent for a while, before Mark grabs Jiyoung’s chin and pushes it up so he can meet him halfway. A kiss of comfort is all it needs for them to come back to the present.

“Speaking of, how did you two break up anyway?” Mark asks, unsure if he wants to know the answer.

“Is that your question?”

Mark nods. Jinyoung sighs tiredly.

“The first break up was pretty messy,” Jinyoung admits, sounding more exhausted than he has all day. Mark does a double take. The _first_ break up? Hold the phone. “I kind of went crazy when you left. I was hurt that you chose to keep it from me and that you even did it in the first place. I was racking my head wondering what I did wrong as a friend that made you leave and not tell me. I couldn’t even contact you since you left your phone here, had no email, deleted your social media and everything. It was like you never existed. I hated you for that month, refused to talk about you every time Jaebum would bring you up.”

“Jaebum brought me up?” Mark finds that incredibly hard to believe.

“Frequently. Everyone knew that you leaving was the reason I wasn’t talking to anyone, staying holed up in my room, barely eating. Jaebum was the one who tried the hardest to get me out of my funk, but I just bottled up all my emotions and diverted the conversation every time he asked about you. And one day, we were both too tired of dealing with each other that we got into a shouting match. He said something along the lines of me caring more about you than I cared about him.”

Mark waits patiently for Jinyoung to continue, hand traveling to Jinyoung’s ear and massaging it softly, hoping it would calm Jinyoung.

“I answered ‘so what if I do?’ And Jaebum... I think he always knew that he always came second to you. I think that was one of his biggest insecurities. And for me to say it to his face, it must have hurt a lot, probably bruised his ego and thought our relationship was basically a waste of time. So we ended things right then and there. We didn’t talk to each other for months, no texts, no emails, no social media interactions, nothing.”

“But you said that was your first break up? Were there more?” Mark questions, curiosity getting the best of him.

“Yeah,” Jinyoung smiles wantonly. “When my parents passed away from a car crash that same year, it was the first time I felt truly lost. And the person I ended up contacting was Jaebum since we ended up going to the same university. And even though we hadn’t talked for months, the first thing he did when he saw me was give me a really long hug. He helped me get through it all, and I’m forever thankful for him for being there.”

Mark feels his throat constrict, empathetic to the pain Jinyoung must have went through, yet also sad at the fact that he wasn’t there to comfort Jinyoung during the darkest times of his life. Mark is a grade A idiot.

“They left me a will. And this house was in my name, but the money that they accumulated was only enough to pay for three and half years of my college education. That’s actually why I’m close with your parents,” Jinyoung says, chuckling lightly. “They offered to pay for the last half a year, on the condition that I do well in my school and turn my life around. So I did. And I would bring them gifts during Mother and Father’s Day, Christmas, their birthdays, any occasion. I wanted them to know how grateful I was to their kindness and knew that words were not enough. They even called me every other week to check up on me throughout my university life.”

Mark felt a slight pang of jealousy, but stayed silent nonetheless.

“I think it was our coping mechanism, you know?” Jinyoung offers, possibly sensing Mark’s envy. “I lost my parents, and in a way, they also lost their child. So we sort of used that as a bridge of support. But back to Jaebum!”

Oh right, they were talking about the break ups, not Jinyoung’s story with Mark’s parents.

“After taking care of me from the passing of my parents, we decided to give it another try. So the next three years of university, we were boyfriends and roommates, exactly with the unhealthy eating habits that I imagined.”

If Mark was jealous earlier, it’s nothing compared to what he feels now. He’s so envious of their situation that all he sees is green. Jinyoung and Jaebum had gone through a lot together, and it makes Mark huff from the possessiveness that’s currently bubbling in the pit of his stomach and making its way up to his chest.

“Stop worrying, Mark. I’ll always pick you first, without a doubt,” Jinyoung giggles, probably noticing the jealousy steaming from Mark’s pores. “But let’s continue. After three years of being together, we realized that there’s no spark in our relationship. All that we had become were really good roommates, whatever passion that may have been there, had fizzled out during those years. And we both noticed it too. So Jaebum suggest that we deserve a good, mutual breakup out of kindness and respect.”

Mark nods along, still feeling like he has to physically hold Jinyoung to assert ownership.

“And we did. Break up, I mean. But we promised that we would stay good friends, and we have. Best friends, in fact. And he’s engaged to his current boyfriend, a genuinely nice guy with a loud laugh. Ironic how your roles have now switched, don’t you think?” Jinyoung laughs. Are they boyfriends now? Is that their label? Neither of them has asked, but it’s obvious right?

“So we’re boyfriends now, correct?” Mark asks eagerly. That’s what Jinyoung said.

“That’s what I want us to be. Is that what you want?”

“Yes!” Mark says excitedly. “Yes, I would love to be your boyfriend!”

They seal it with a kiss and a lot of laughter and a sleepover, not an adult sleepover, but a sleepover nonetheless.

***

The next day, Mark notices that Jinyoung has eye bags. He doesn’t comment on it.

Mark is smart enough to use his clothes to go back home this time so his mother doesn’t comment on it further.

Jinyoung invites Mark to go to the cemetery with him to visit his parents. And of course, Mark obliges.

There’s something to be said about being in a cemetery, where the grass is a faded green under a thin blanket of snow, and the trees creak in condolences. The wind sings songs of peace and death, a solemn hymn that strangely makes Mark compare it to a lullaby for the dead.

Mark follows Jinyoung’s footsteps, both of them holding a bouquet of flowers, one each for Mr. and Mrs. Park. Jinyoung slows to a stop in front of two tombstones, and engraved on it are the names of Jinyoung’s parents. Seeing the tombstones like this, physically in person, makes their passing much more real than just knowing. There’s an ache deep within Mark’s chest, a sadness that has blossomed into sorrow in which he can’t begin to explain.

Silently, Mark apologizes to them for hurting their son. He also asks for forgiveness for not being there when they had passed. Other than his own parents, they were the only adults that Mark could comfortably be able to converse with, seeing as they treated Mark like a second child.

Mark makes a mental note to tell his parents he loves them today. He reads the words inscribed on the marble tombs.

_Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also._

They died even before they turned forty. And it makes Mark wonder how much time he has left, how much time anyone has left. He glances at Jinyoung, sees that he’s fighting away the tears that’s surely building up behind his eyes. Tentatively, Mark takes him by the hand, one by one filling up the spaces between Jinyoung’s fingers right where Mark’s fit perfectly.

He gives it a gentle squeeze. _I’m here. I got you._ Jinyoung squeezes back. _I know. Thank you._

They switch out the old flowers with these new ones, sitting down on the icy grass as they do so. Mark sidles up close to Jinyoung for warmth, but also for support in case Jinyoung needs it.

“Hey, mom. Hey, dad.” Jinyoung whispers, looking at their tombstones. “I miss you.”

The grass dances as the wind howls, as if they’re responding to Jinyoung.

“Anyway, I put up a small Christmas tree this month,” he says tearily, trying his best to smile. Mark rubs Jinyoung’s knee with his free hand. “I decorated it a little. And I even put up some Christmas lights inside the house, kind of like how we used to do it.”

Jinyoung chuckles softly, eyes fluttering under the sunlight. “Also, Mark is back visiting. He helped me nail some of the lights outside on the edge of the roof and the railings of the porch. It looks really pretty. I think you both would have liked it.”

Mark bows his head, an expression of respect and greeting.

“I’m celebrating Christmas again.” He confesses into the afternoon, lips forming a straight line. “I’m sorry that I won’t be spending it here with you or by the fireplace next to your photos.”

Mark feels Jinyoung’s grip on his hand tighten. “Because I have someone to spend it with this year. I hope you can forgive me.”

Jinyoung stands up and Mark follows suit, hands never leaving Jinyoung’s. Mark clears his throat, suddenly finding it difficult to swallow.

“I’ll visit soon,” Jinyoung says in goodbye. And then they’re walking away, hand in hand trying their best to look stoic. They make their way back to Jinyoung’s place in relative quietness, the only words exchanged between them being ‘safety first.’

It isn’t until they’re in the silence of Jinyoung’s bedroom that he finally grabs Mark and bawls his eyes out. Mark, ready for the emotion that he figured would flood Jinyoung’s chest, simply holds Jinyoung in his arms, sheltering him from any harm trying to come their way.

They lie down on the bed, Jinyoung sniffling into Mark’s chest, and Mark rubbing his back and shushing him in the dark. Mark wishes he could relieve Jinyoung of any pain he might be feeling, wanting to keep him safe and unburdened from all of the grief, heartache, and exhaustion. They fall asleep in tandem, breath and pulse gradually finding pleasant uniformity.

***

When he gets back to Jinyoung’s, freshly showered and smelling like honey-scented shampoo, they immediately start to prepare for baking cookies. It’ll be their contribution to the Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow at Mark’s place because they can’t cook, and Jinyoung is very much invited.

“They’re starting to get suspicious because I’ve been sleeping here more than I’ve been sleeping on my bed,” Mark says casually as he mixes the ingredients.

Jinyoung giggles, eyes crinkling as he does so. “Why not just tell them the truth and say we’re boyfriends.”

Mmm, boyfriends. Mark likes the sound of it with Jinyoung’s lovely voice, doesn’t think he’ll get tired of hearing it.

“Say that again? I didn’t quite catch that.”

Jinyoung narrows his eyes suspiciously. “I said, why not just tell them that we’re together?”

Mark huffs as Jinyoung smirks at him knowingly.

“Tell them during the dinner tomorrow,” Jinyoung proposes.

“Hey, mom and dad. You know Jinyoung, right? The guy you both unofficially adopted? Yeah, I’m gay for him now,” Marks acts out ridiculously. “Something tells me that that won’t go over well.”

“I don’t think you being queer will make them love you any less,” Jinyoung points out. “They welcomed my sexuality wholeheartedly.”

“Yeah, but you’re not exactly their son.” Mark says offhandedly. But upon hearing his own words, Mark gasps. “Not that they look at you differently, or that you mean any less to them, I just meant-”

“I get it,” Jinyoung tries calmly, standing behind Mark to hug him from the back. “We’re not related by blood. They didn’t replace my parents, just as I’m sure I didn’t replace you. All I’m saying is that they’re not as close-minded as you might think.”

Mark sighs. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

He will. Right now though, their main priority is to make these freaking cookies. Baking is super hard, especially since the only kind of baking Mark does is a different kind of bake.

“Let’s continue our game,” Jinyoung suggest, still hugging him from behind. He has his chin hooked over Mark’s shoulder, and Mark admits that it’s really warm and makes him feel comfy and loved. “And since it’s my turn, my question is… Why did you and your wife get a divorce?”

Mark is about to answer the question when Jinyoung backtracks. “Actually wait, why do you even have a wife? Just tell me your story from beginning to end I guess.”

That’s a doozy, but Mark will try.

“Well, let’s start with the fact that my favorite thing about her was that she looked like you,” Mark admits, neck heating up. Jinyoung chuckles softly before planting a kiss on Mark’s nape.

“That’s a good start.”

“She was pale like you, all dark hair and dark eyes.” Mark explains. “But her features were gentler, a little more rounded where yours were sharp. Her wrists a bit more delicate, her waist a little slimmer, but she had the same genuine kindness that you showed me from the very first day we met.”

Mark feels Jinyoung nod from behind him.

“She’s an independent woman, and as such, she took the first step before I did. She pursued me and asked me out,” Mark says. Jinyoung hums from behind him, and Mark can’t tell whether it’s a good hum or a bad hum, but he keeps going anyway. “Surprisingly, we had a good time on our dates. It mainly consisted of her talking at me, but I do consider myself a good listener, and I found her entertaining.”

Mark turns around, completely abandoning mixing the cookie dough.

“We dated for 3 years before she finally hinted at marriage. Mind you, I was a senior in college when I first met her. So it wasn’t until I was in Law school that she finally asked what I think about marriage,” Mark breathes out steadily as he brings his arms around Jinyoung. “I think throughout all the years we dated, she knew that there was one big obstacle that restrained me from fully committing. Obviously, that obstacle was you.”

“We just love to ruin each other’s relationships, don’t we?” Jinyoung jokes kindheartedly. It makes Mark giggle.

“Anyway, I did end up asking her to marry me. In Disneyland of all places. Don’t laugh, I know it’s cheesy, but I like the cheese,” Mark grins. “Our wedding was pretty small. I didn’t even tell my parents until we were already married. Mom was furious.”

“I’m not sure if I want to hear about your wedding,” Jinyoung pouts. And Mark can’t help but play with Jinyoung’s ears to calm him down. “Just skip to how you found out you’d like a divorce.”

“Impatient, aren’t we,” Mark teases, but he obliges nonetheless. “Okay. Well, our marriage only lasted about a year before we called it quits. Like you, we slowly found out that we’re more like good roommates than actual husband and wife. We barely had sex after getting married, and I started to lose interest in whatever I thought we had.”

“And what did you think you both had?”

“I don’t know,” Mark shrugs. “Deep friendship? Definitely not love though. I have a feeling that she always viewed me as this project, a sort of puzzle or mystery that she’s trying to crack. And I think as time passed by, she gave up on trying to fix me. Me on the other hand, I started to resent her because even though she looked like you, there was just no replacing the real thing.”

“I’m irreplaceable, didn’t you know?” Jinyoung snorts.

“Always knew, Jinyoungie,” Mark admits, giving him a quick peck on the chin. “But yeah. She just wasn’t you. She doesn’t have the same laugh as you, the one that isolates each syllable. Her eyes are the color of chestnut, while yours reminded me distinctly of black marble. She doesn’t have the same crinkles near her eyes when she smiles. Her hair smells like lavender, whereas yours smelled like honey. She doesn’t even like it when I buckle her in. I could go on and on, but I don’t want to.”

Jinyoung is smiling, the one that makes him look like an angel in disguise.

“I wanted you,” Mark says firmly. “I _want_ you. Only you. My feelings for you, they run deep, Jinyoungie. They’re as real as the water is wet and the Earth round. I’ve only ever had feelings for you, even back when we were teenagers. My eyes always gravitated to you. My attention always yearned for you. So I refuse to settle for anyone else. I already tried, and it didn’t work.”

Jinyoung carries him up to the counter. With Mark sitting on the ledge like this, legs apart so Jinyoung can settle in between, they’re in the perfect position to kiss.

So they do just that, exploring each other’s lips in between breaths. Mark undoes the first two buttons of Jinyoung’s shirt with one hand, so that he can feel Jinyoung’s chest. Similarly, Jinyoung’s hands are on Mark’s side, under Mark’s sweater and sliding up and down his skin.

Jinyoung tastes like an interesting combination of sugar and eggs, but Mark can also taste the spearmint toothpaste that Jinyoung must have used this morning. Jinyoung’s lips are plumper than usual, and Mark can’t help but suck lightly on them.

They’re taking their sweet time getting to know each other’s mouths when Mark accidentally hits the bowl of cookie batter with his elbow. Fortunately, it doesn’t flip over, but it also ruins the moment and brings them both back to reality.

“We should bake these cookies and clean up first,” Jinyoung recommends.

“Nooo,” Mark whines, biting his lips and pulling the younger man back. “Jinyoungieee-”

“We can continue whatever we’re doing after we’ve finished making these cookies for tomorrow.”

“Fine,” Mark sighs in defeat. Always the voice of reason.

***

The Christmas Eve dinner goes smoothly. Jinyoung is charming as always, wearing a sweater and looking unfairly handsome all the time. Mark looks quite handsome as well, if he does says so himself.

The only unusual thing that makes Mark uncomfortable is telling his parents about his newfound relationship with his estranged best friend.

“Did you not hear me correctly, Mom?” Mark asks slowly. Even Jinyoung looks a little shocked. “I said Jinyoung and I are dating.”

“And I said congratulations, dears,” his mom says. “I understood you the first time. Now keep eating before your dinner gets cold.”

Mark and Jinyoung exchange looks before Mark speaks up again.

“And you’re totally fine with me dating the guy you unofficially adopted?” Jinyoung elbows him.

“What the heck, Mark,” he says under his breath so that only Mark can hear. “I didn’t think you’d actually use that.”

Mark shrugs.

“All the better,” his dad chimes in excitedly. “We know firsthand what a good man Jinyoung is. Your mother and I definitely approve of him. You, on the other hand, better treat Jinyoung the way he deserves to be treated. No more of this running away wish-wash nonsense.”

Mark sinks down to his seat. Somehow, this feels like he’s on the receiving end of the in-laws talk.

“I will,” Mark pouts, and like having a sixth sense, Jinyoung grabs his hand under the table and squeezes it. _I’m here. I got you._

Mark squeezes back. _I know. Thank you._

“Perfect! My two boys, finally getting together.”

Jinyoung snorts as Mark chokes on air.

“What do you mean, mom?”

“Please, dear, you don’t think your feelings for each other were obvious since middle school? A mother always knows.” She says as she winks.

Jinyoung and Mark stay quiet after that, slightly unsure what the heck just happened.

They trade gifts after dinner is finished. Jinyoung goes first and gives his gift to Mark’s mom.

She gasps when she opens the present. “The Other Miss Bridgerton? I’ve been meaning to buy this. Oh, I love Julia Quinn. Thank you, sweetie.”

She pats Jinyoung on the cheek. Mark then presents his gift.

“Tiny. Looks like jewelry,” she observes eagerly. She sucks in a breath when she opens it. “Pearl earrings! Oh my, they look so elegant and pristine! Thank you, dear.”

She gives Mark a kiss on the cheek. Jinyoung then gives Mark’s dad his Christmas gift.

His dad whoops when he opens it. “This will go nicely with my collection. Thanks, son.”

Jinyoung bows. Mark then gives his gift.

His dad looks grateful when he opens it. “Leather shoes! I’ve been needing a new pair, and these seem quite sturdy. Thank you, son.”

His dad ruffles him by the hair, which Mark quickly fixes right after.

They’re about to go to Mark’s room when his parents give them a surprise.

“You didn’t think we wouldn’t get you a gift, did you?” Mark’s mom says. His dad pulls out two small boxes from behind him, one held out each for Mark and Jinyoung.

They take it simultaneously and open them in unison. Under the wrappers and inside the box sits a gleaming golden wristwatch. Mark looks over at Jinyoung’s to see that it’s a matching pair, but rather than gold, Jinyoung’s is sterling silver.

“These must have cost a fortune,” Mark comments just as Jinyoung says, “You really didn’t have to.”

“Thank you,” they say together.

“Merry Christmas, dears.” Mark’s mom greets.

“What your mother said.”

“Merry Christmas, mom and dad.”

“Merry Christmas, Mr. and Mrs. Tuan.”

They end celebrations early because Mark’s parents are getting old and Mark and Jinyoung also wanted to celebrate by themselves.

They’re sitting on Mark’s bed when Jinyoung pulls out a small box out of nowhere.

“It’s not much, but I bought it with you in mind. Merry Christmas, Mark.”

“Merry Christmas, Jinyoung.” Mark replies as he pries the little box open. Inside sits three hoop earring, one of them smaller and thinner than the other two. All of them plain and silver and beautiful.”

“I noticed that you have an extra piercing on your left ear whenever I play with it, so I bought you three.”

“I love them,” Mark says honestly and takes Jinyoung by the hand. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Jinyoung smiles shyly.

“I have something to give you too,” Mark says as he gives Jinyoung’s hands a quick squeeze before going to his closet. “Something I should have given you a long time ago.”

Mark comes back with his box of memories, the words DO NOT OPEN etched with his horrible handwriting.

“It’s my box of treasure,” Mark explains as he opens it.

Jinyoung surveys each item, eyes flashing with recognition from all of the things Mark kept in there.

“You saved our movie ticket?” Jinyoung asks in disbelief. “You even kept the pikachu wristwatch I gave you. Oh my gosh, you’ve been collecting these from the beginning.”

“I guess even back then, I unconsciously knew that I had feelings for you.” Mark giggles. There’s actually one more thing. Mark digs in there until he pulls out a pair of matching necklaces, each adorned with half a heart, both in real silver.

“I had meant to give you this ten years ago that weekend,” Mark confesses, heart constricting all of sudden. “I was going to ask you to be mine, but I was too late.”

Jinyoung shakes his head. “You’re not too late. You’re just right on time. Perhaps we needed that eight-year break to mature and understand ourselves, grow as Mark and grow as Jinyoung rather than grow as Mark-and-Jinyoung.”

Mark smiles. Jinyoung always knows what to say in every situation. And that’s why Mark feels so much for him. “Have I ever told you how wonderful you are?”

“Yes, but don’t stop now,” Jinyoung giggles, taking one of the necklaces and putting it on. Mark clips his on his neck as well. “Anyhow, do you want to come over to my house?”

“What do you have there that we don’t have here?” Mark asks, because he doesn’t actually feel like walking through the night to Jinyoung’s place.

Jinyoung leans in close to Mark’s ear and whispers, “Privacy.”

Heat suddenly pool at his groin. “I’m down. Let’s go.”

Jinyoung laughs. It’s music to Mark’s ears.

They’re walking hand in hand under the moonlight. And for some reason, Mark picks this as the time to say it.

“Jinyoungie, are you happy?”

Jinyoung gives him a crooked smile. “What’s the correct answer to this question?”

“Honesty,” Mark says.

Jinyoung takes his time with the answer, probably trying to figure what he could say to stop history from repeating itself.

“I’m happiest when you’re with me.”

Mark agrees. This is an answer that works for both of them.

“You know, I’ve never properly apologized for leaving you without saying goodbye.”

“And?” Jinyoung asks.

“That’s it. That was what I wanted say.”

Jinyoung slaps Mark on the chest. “You don’t have to say sorry. I understand why you did it.”

Mark stops them and turns Jinyoung so that he’s facing him. “But that doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve an apology.”

Jinyoung doesn’t answer, just gives him a close-lipped smile that brings out his dimples.

“I’m sorry for running away, for leaving you without saying goodbye. I apologize for all the heartache and pain that I may have caused you, for not being there to help you through the dark. But I’m here now. And I want you. I want to be serious with you,” Mark says, breaths coming out in puffs. “Are you serious about this, Jinyoung? About us?”

Jinyoung nods shakily. “Yes. Yes, of course.”

“Then move in with me in the future. When I’ve got everything settled and you have everything ready, move in with me. If your feelings don’t change in the next seven months, let’s go to Seoul and live the lives we were meant to live.”

“I want that,” Jinyoung admits between them and seals their words with a kiss.

Mark is smiling at him when they pull apart. Jinyoung stares back, mouth slightly trembling. The harsh bite of winter’s chill is getting to both of them. Snow begins to fall, and Mark can feel his fingertips becoming icier by the second. Like the snow who can’t help but touch the ground, Mark too cannot refrain from reaching out to Jinyoung who closes his eyes. His cheeks are red, surely a mixture of the frosty evening and Mark’s words and actions.

Jinyoung’s face is cold, but Mark’s hand is probably colder. He gives Jinyoung a swipe of his thumb before pulling away. There’s a stray snowflake on Jinyoung’s lashes as he opens his eyes, pupils blown wide and sparkling.

“I think we should hurry,” Mark suggests, his breath coming out in fog. “Or we might get sick.”

“Okay.”

Mark and Jinyoung walk hand in hand, striding in tandem with only a few centimeters separating them. There’s an unspoken rule to stay quiet, as if even a whisper will break this precious moment.

For such a short distance, the walk takes abnormally long. It’s almost like they’re both prolonging the journey, as if the end has a defining moment they both can’t step back from. When they get there, Mark feels his stomach flipping up and all around. Jinyoung opens the door to his place, the colors muted except for the Christmas decorations.

“Do you want a cup of hot chocolate?” Jinyoung asks nervously.

Mark shakes his head. All he wants right now is Jinyoung.

“Jinyoungie,” he whispers, face close to the young man. Jinyoung gulps at the close proximity. Jinyoung is taller, but right now he looks so small. “Stop me now if you don’t want to make love tonight.”

Mark waits for a beat, two, three.

He dives in, emotions on his sleeve and heart in his hand. Jinyoung doesn’t restrain himself, bringing both his arms around Mark neck, pulling him closer and closer until nothing is separating them. The kiss is explosive, as if fireworks has gone off in every direction. Mark has his eyes closed, and he sees nothing but red.

Red. The color of fiery passion and burning desire. To him, Jinyoung is red. Just as red is his favorite color, Jinyoung is his favorite person. Though unlike passion and desire, Jinyoung is the color of hot, intense love. Rather than the scorching heat of strong emotion, Jinyoung is the illuminating candle in the dark night, glowing flames keeping Mark warm through the cold winter.

“Mark,” Jinyoung whispers in between kisses, the name lost between their lips.

“Jinyoung,” Mark says back softly. Mark will always react back to that call.

“Stay with me.” Here. Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever.

Mark knows the answer, has always known the answer but was too scared to say it during the prime age of eighteen. But they’re older now, wiser, more mature.

“Always.”

They make their way to Jinyoung’s bed, lips locked the whole time. Pieces of clothing are taken off after every couple of steps. And when they finally make it to the bedroom, they rid themselves of any other articles of clothing.

In the darkness, on the sheets, they present themselves to each other. As bare and as naked as they were born, they give themselves to one another. They take their sweet time kissing every inch of each other’s skin, soft under their roaming lips. They don’t make haste, as if memorizing every moment into their memory.

They stall with their touches, fingertips sliding across every patch of skin they can reach. Some time in the night, they make love in its purest form, members exposed and bare. They ask each other for permission and for infections, and that small act makes the experience more meaningful.

Mark prepares Jinyoung generously with his fingers before replacing his digits with his member. They rock lightly on the bed, skins sticky with sweat. The blanket rustles with their actions, their breaths heavy, and the only other noise is the rhythmic sound of wet skin hitting wet skin. Mark groans as he releases into Jinyoung. Jinyoung mewls as he does, hands clasping Mark’s back.

They fall onto the bed with heavy breaths and sticky skin, whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears. But the night is young, and so are they. Mark and Jinyoung switch positions, and they find solace once more as Jinyoung enters Mark. They settle on a steady rhythm, breaths hitched as they bring each other closer to climax.

They sigh into each other’s lips, moving perfectly with each other like they’ve been doing this all their life. And in a way, they have. Not in having sex, but in making love. It’s in the way Mark buckles Jinyoung in. The way Jinyoung holds his hands when Mark’s nervous. It’s in the way Mark buys Jinyoung drinks. How Jinyoung saves money he doesn’t have to buy Mark gifts. It’s in these kisses, lingering on their lips like butterflies. These touches, as soft as a bird’s feather settling on the ground.

When Jinyoung feels himself getting close, he whispers it so, biting Mark’s ear after he does. Mark moans and clutches Jinyoung closer with his legs, pulling Jinyoung as close he possibly can. Like this, they don’t know where one ends and the other begins. And that’s okay. Jinyoung tenses his whole body, lower half pulsing into Mark. And Mark can do nothing but pull Jinyoung down and place a mark on his shoulder as the younger boy spills inside him.

They fall to the bed after they clean up, staring into each other’s eyes in the dark room. Whispering soft phrases into each other ears, saying words they didn’t get to express during their childhood and adolescence. Mark is first to fall asleep, the last thing he sees is Jinyoung’s warm smile directed at him.

***

Mark is cold when he wakes up. The sun is almost up, Mark can see from the window. It’s dark, but it’s not black. It’s the rich shade of violet that appears before the first ray of sun peeks from the east, the quiet moment that breaks the cusp of dawn into early morning.

He’s about to wake Jinyoung when he notices the spot next to him is empty. It shows no sign of body warmth upon placing his hands on them.

He panics.

Is this how Jinyoung had felt all those years ago when Mark disappeared without a word, extremely lost, unusually empty, and utterly helpless? But this wouldn’t make sense. This is Jinyoung’s house; there’s no way he would just leave Mark like this.

Right?

He stands up immediately and picks up a shirt and underwear, unsure if it’s his or Jinyoung’s. But he doesn’t care, all he cares about is Jinyoung being present in this house somewhere.

“Jinyoungie?” He calls in the unlit house. “Jinyoungie, where are you?”

Mark checks the bathroom and kitchen, only to find nobody there.

He then checks the living room, the one closest to the front door.

His hearts both leaps and plummets at the sight of Jinyoung. He’s sitting on the sofa, eyes half-open and bloodshot. His limbs look heavy from the way he’s sitting. It seems as if he didn’t get a second of sleep.

Mark makes his way over.

“Mark?” Jinyoung jolts to full awareness at the sounds of Mark’s footsteps. “W-Where are you going?”

Mark’s heart shatters at Jinyoung’s raw voice, grows weak at the way his eyes seem pleading from this distance.

“Jinyoungie,” he immediately sits beside him and hugs him close. Is this why Jinyoung has eyes bags these last few days? Is this why Jinyoung has been looking like he lacks sleep whenever Mark sleeps over? “Were you waiting out here to make sure I wouldn’t leave again?”

Mark takes Jinyoung’s silence as confirmation.

“I’m here, Jinyoungie. I’m not going anywhere this time, I promise.”

Jinyoung throws his arms around Mark and clutches him just as tightly.

“I’m staying right here,” Mark says firmly once more for good measure.

Jinyoung sobs into Mark’s neck as Mark apologizes once more for leaving back then. But he promises that it won’t happen this time, that Mark will be right here, by Jinyoung’s side, where he’s always wanted to be.

“Okay,” the younger says as Mark kisses his hair. “You promise?”

“I promise.” Mark means it with every bone in his body.

They sit like that for a while, just Jinyoung in Mark’s arms, head resting on Mark’s shoulder area as Mark rubs his back.

Jinyoung falls asleep promptly after, and Mark carries his person to the bed. He’s taking strained, deep breaths when they get there, and his arms are stinging from keeping Jinyoung off the ground, but it’s okay as long as Jinyoung is back safe and sound. Mark deposits him as gently as possible, making sure to do it slowly so as not to wake Jinyoung.

He fails as Jinyoung’s eyes flutter open for a second.

“Mark?”

Mark gives him a kiss on the forehead.

“I’m right here, Jinyoung.” He answers as he slides beside Jinyoung and tucks them both in the blanket. Jinyoung burrows his face into Mark’s neck, lips moving languidly against Mark’s skin.

Mark thinks he hears Jinyoung say _I love you_ , but he’ll never know because Jinyoung falls asleep once again.

Mark wraps his arms around him, finding everything he needs in Jinyoung. He takes a good whiff of Jinyoung’s sweet scent, and Mark finds himself dizzy with how sickeningly syrupy the other boy smells. He sluggishly enters a deep slumber as his heartbeat matches Jinyoung’s, his last thought something about being thankful to whatever celestial being out there for making this the best holiday ever.

***

_7 Months Later_

“Okay, that should be the last box!” Jinyoung breathes out, wiping the sweat sticking to his forehead. Mark licks his lips because Jinyoung’s arms are bulging from carrying so many boxes to their apartment floor. Jinyoung’s arms look deliciously swollen from the exercise, and Mark is only human.

“You got something on you, babe,” Mark mentions as he dusts Jinyoung’s shirt, sneakily groping the younger man’s chest and arms.

Jinyoung, catching onto Mark’s secret agenda, tantalizingly pries Mark’s hands off of him with a smirk on his face. “If you want to feel me, all you have to do is ask.”

“I wasn’t lying,” Mark giggles. “You really did have something on you.”

“Is that right?” Jinyoung teases as he backs Mark up into a wall, trapping him with both hands.

“Yeah,” he barks back, grabbing Jinyoung and twisting them so that it’s now Mark who has the upper hand. “You had all of that sweat on you. It was really hot.”

Jinyoung snorts. “Being sweaty means I’m getting stinky, babe.”

“I’m not joking,” Mark tries once more, tippy toeing to give Jinyoung’s nose a quick kiss. “It was really sexy. And you don’t stink. You always smell like honey and citrus, even after we have sex.”

Jinyoung chokes.

“That you even know how I smell after sex is kinda hot,” Jinyoung laughs, eyes crinkling like little crescents. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were obsessed with me.”

“You’re not wrong,” Mark replies, laughing lightly.

They take their time getting things into its own place, with Jinyoung being the interior designer of the place. Jinyoung tells Mark to move this here, move that there, and Mark does as he’s told. They finish a lot of required move-in chores by the end of the day, and as such are too tired to make dinner.

“Let’s just get takeout delivered,” Mark suggests. “It’ll be like what you said our future would be like, having unhealthy eating habits by eating ramen and takeout every night.”

Jinyoung laughs. “I don’t even remember saying that, but okay.”

They shower together so as not to feel icky when they eat their dinner. Like everything they do, they take their time showering, as if soaking up all of the time together now as a way to make up for lost time they’ve spent away from each other. Mark finds it incredibly fun shampooing Jinyoung’s hair at the same time Jinyoung shampoos his. Bubbles are everywhere, and they both smell good, and this is the best year of Mark’s life.

The doorbell rings just as they finish drying each other off with a towel.

“Just a minute!” Mark shouts, hoping the delivery person could hear him.

“I’ll get it.” Mark says, as he hurries out of the bathroom to put on some comfy clothes. He grabs his wallet as he’s speeding towards the door.

“Sorry for making you wait,” Mark says breathlessly, hair sticking to his forehead from the lack of drying.

“No worries,” the delivery girl says. “Here’s your food. And will you be paying with card?”

Mark nods.

When they finish the transaction, Mark thanks her as she bids him goodbye. He sets up the food on the coffee table as he flips through the channels to find something good to watch.

“Babe,” Jinyoung calls as he walks closer to Mark, hands behind his back. There’s an awkwardness to his steps that Mark can only conclude to be nerves.

“Yes?” Mark raises a brow.

“I know that we’ve just moved in together, and that we’ve only been dating for seven months,” Jinyoung starts, eyes wide and breathing heavily. “But I’ve never felt so strongly or so deeply for anyone in my entire life.”

The seriousness in Jinyoung’s voice makes Mark’s butt clench, and he holds in his breath as the taller man continues.

“And if I had to bet my life on it, I think it’s the same for you.” Jinyoung says it as a statement, not as a question, but Mark nods vigorously anyway, heart stuck in his throat.

“So I think it’s only right that we take the next step.” And then Jinyoung is kneeling on one knee, eyes looking directly at Mark. Mark can see the world in there, and he can’t do anything but bite his lower lip and nod once more.

“Mark Tuan,” Jinyoung pulls out a small velvet box from behind him and presents it to Mark. He opens it agonizingly slowly, and Mark gasps from the beauty it beholds.

“Oh my god,” he says as he puts a hand over his chest, shocked. Inside sits a pure silver dog tag in the shape of a bone. Engraved on it is the name _Biscuit_.

“Will you adopt a dog with me?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Mark answers excitedly, jumping up into Jinyoung’s arms as soon the younger man stands up.

“Yeah?!” Jinyoung asks in disbelief, pure bliss reflected in his smile.

“Absolutely, 100% yes!” Mark kisses Jinyoung once, twice, three times before Jinyoung is snaking his arms around him and lifting him up.

“I love you so much,” Mark whispers, as he rests his forehead against Jinyoung’s, warmth settling between both of them.

“I love you too,” Jinyoung replies, eyes closing.

Somewhere, in the heart of Seoul, inside an apartment on the sixth floor, two people are holding each other thinking _this is it._

_Right here._

_This must be what Paradise feels like._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is it! That was the last chapter, and this fic is finished! I had so much fun writing this, and it's hard for me to let go because I put a lot of my heart and feelings into this.
> 
> Special thanks to my friend Trisha who was basically my cheerleader throughout this entire work. I love you. Please update your fic fgdsfasgdf
> 
> For the readers, thank you so much for reading all the way to the end. I'd like to know what you thought of the story overall. Thank you so much for all of the support you have given these past few weeks, and hopefully I'll see you all again for my next work, whenever that may be!
> 
> If you liked this story, please give kudos or add a comment! I will greatly appreciate it.
> 
> Follow me on twitter and lets talk about markjin [@twinkytuan](https://twitter.com/twinkytuan) ! Until next time!


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